Late Night with Onan Co'Brien

Caleb: So, uh. Lavid. How... how are you?

Lavid: I'm doing great. I've always wanted to be on this show. With Onan, of course, but you're okay too.

*Laughter*

Caleb: H-heh. Sorry to disappoint.

Lavid: No worries. So, have you heard about the boy who called 911 for McDonald's?

Caleb: No?

Lavid: This is a great story. So this boy, this child, he calls 911 and asks for a Happy Meal, right? And the cops decide to teach him a lesson. So they show up to his house, right?

And they shoot him 47 times

Ralsei: Lmao

Caleb: HAHAHAH-

Lavid: Okay, what next... Oh I got a great story. So I used to be a newsman, right? And the point of the news is to make it fun.

Caleb: Yeah?

Lavid: So one day there were 3 murders, right? And they decide it wouldn't be too fun to have the main guy report all 3, so they give one to the sports guy.

He goes, "Welp, the Ramston Hustlers beat the Los Hermanollos Bulls 16 to 10, the Hciaggo Lions beat the Mallas Cowmen 28 to 19, and the MSMG City Speeders murdered the San Pierro 69ers 31 to nothing. Speaking of murders...
*laughter*
Looks like 14 year old Johnny Foster won't be going to the games anymore.

Caleb: Hahahah... hah...

Lavid: Aight I'm done. Good night everyone.
*Applause*

Caleb: That was our first guest, everybody!