"At the present the Kaiju salmonid is approaching Splatsville through the Chaotic river but we believe this salmonid can easily be taken down by our heroine, Inkmatas but that would be a last ditch attempt, our experts tend to believe that the kaiju salmonid bones would likely be crushed by the weight of it so there is no need to fear, i repeat that this monster's bones would likely be crushed by it's own weight, but if it does get on shore then our military will handle the situation from there"
