lol

My mom actually had to weigh me and my sister’s halves of the blueberry muffins so we would stop fighting.

I'm the oldest sibling, so I always had to do the dividing. Usually, if there was a single crumb's worth of difference between the two halves, my younger sibling would throw a tantrum. But once, one glorious day, I swindled them out of the bigger piece through gaslighting.