I’m tryin’ to go on a date w/ the school model, but I can’t get ready Doesn’t help that my face looks like Friday Night Freddy I’m bidin’ my time, and my hair is a mess should i even show up to the gal’s address? Her face and dress make up for my mess, though But will she think the same thing? Don’t know, maybe so…; i show up, she’s excited, but her dad slaps me, Will Smith style says “The distance I wanna see between you and my gal is a mile” That face is goin’ places, but they ain’t good ones You wanna go with her? Your hair looks like cat fur You better impress me, and you better have some good puns; Though there’s nothing I can do, I wasn’t too peeved So I try to think something up Magic might work, i dig under my sleeve And out comes a cup But daddy said that ain’t cuttin’ it He said, “Keep that up and I’ll kick you to Putnam”; So then I tried to shoot my shot at jokes Even tho this bloke ain’t got no experience And after I look in the mirror and dance And that got denied, I came up with my joke; Just as Daddy finished his last bit of pot I laughed my heart out, the roar shook the whole place Daddy’s eyebrow gave away that he thought, “Surely he’s gonna redeem his face Prove that though he wasn’t given the goods, Maybe he could work them myself,” and maybe I could; I threw my messy hair back, I rear myself to prepare And I tell my hilarious joke, can’t wait to share:; “Why do they call it a turnpike? Because you have to TURN on the PIKE! HAHAHAHAHAAAAA” —; I never saw my sweetheart ever again 😭 And though I’ve tried to mingle Ever since I’ve been as single As a rabbit in a lions’ den.
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