Bro Tomahawk pulls out a recorder. He whispers, "This is Bro Tomahawk for MSTV News. I am on a plane that is being hijacked. I don't know where they're taking us. If you find this in the rubble of a building or the wreckage of this plane, I am dead. Please don't let Rus Timmert take over Nightly News, and definitely not Onan Co'Brien."