Yo, listen up, dawg. I'm here to tell you why you ain't getting no hoes.
First of all, you're a self-centered clown. You're always thinking about yourself and how you can get what you want. No one wants to be around someone who's always so focused on themselves.
Second, you're a slob. You don't take care of yourself, and you look like a bum. No one wants to date someone who doesn't take pride in their appearance.
Third, you're awkward as hell. You can't talk to women to save your life. If you can't even make a woman laugh, she's not going to be interested in you.
Fourth, you're desperate. You're always trying to get with women, and it's obvious. Just relax and let things happen naturally.
Fifth, you're negative. You're always complaining about something, and it's a major turnoff. If you can't find something positive to say, just keep your mouth shut.
So there you have it, dawg. Those are the five reasons why you ain't getting no hoes. If you want to change that, start by fixing yourself. Once you're a better person, the women will come flocking.
Peace
