Spoiler alert your friend was a 10 y/o

Thank you for keeping our country safe

if age is just a number, jail is just a word.

Santa is just a fat home invader

Wgo bribes us not to call the police with bribes he calls 'presents'

Indeed
Isn't it interesting?
However, we don't always like the bribes and take out a shotgun.

And a grave is just a home

For me it's a homeless shelter.
I take hobos to homeless shelters all the time!

*who

Gun is just a tool

jail cell is just a room

A plant loves the co2 you spew

"Mario what the f**k are you doing you can't have sex with her!"
"Why not Luigi?"
"BECAUSE SHE'S 14"
"Yeah what's it to ya? Age is only a number Luigi"
"You know what else is a number?"
"What?"
"9-1-F**KING-1 BITCH!!"

I love how you *'ed out F*ck, and not B*tch

Good job

I'm 4 years older than my 13 year old gf

So your 17?

Correct

Nice

Yea