It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere you go
Take a look in the Five & Ten
Glistening once again
With candy canes and silver lanes aglow
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Toys in every store
But the prettiest sight to see
Is the terrorism that will be on your own front door
A pair of Hopalong boots and a machine gun that shoots
Is the wish of Barney and Ben
Dolls that will talk and will murder their owners in gruesome, unspeakable ways
Is the hope of Janice and Jen
And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for the chloroform to take effect
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere you go
Now there's a plane in the Grand Hotel
One in the park as well
The sturdy kind that kills a lot of people
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Soon the bells will start
And the thing that will make them ring
Is the blood splatter that you bring
Right within your gun
A pair of Hopalong boots and a machine gun that shoots
Is the wish of Barney and Ben
Dolls that will talk and will murder their owners in unspeakable, gruesome ways
Is the hope of Janice and Jen
And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for No Nut November to end.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Soon the bells will start
And the thing that will make them ring
Is the carol that you sing
Right within your heart
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