apparently you wanna die

Yes, yes I do.

I wanna die.

What?

I'm not gonna YET (my teachers made me put yet due to how they say "you don't know it YET" or "I'm not sure about this YET")

Lmao

I might

Why?

Really?

Why?

Explain

Idk

Thank chu

Sans * heh

Hmmm

Sans - ..?

Idk

Sans - ..okay..

Ye

Sans - heh

Sorry but I am living in a GOD[[DARN]] coffin-
Would be nice if the home fit the owner.

Sans - wha-

So yes, yes I do. Think you could manage that?

Sans - Honestly I uh- Can I talk to ya?

Sure?

Sans - I uh.. I'm sorry for what happened to Bravery..

That was approximately a century ago. Eventually after watching your brother die uncountable amounts of times, it starts to not affect ya. Only you would know that.

Sans - ...Still...

...I wasn't a good sister anyway..

Sans - I bet ya' were kiddo.. *slight head pat*

...what I don't tell anyone was the time in our lives when we were given the idea of a certain state with a song taking its name.

Sans - ...?

Some creep showed us a path where the skies were so blue...

Sans - ...W h a

I said no.
He was a bit reckless that time.

Sans - .....What's his name?..

The creep or my bro?

Sans - ...The creep.. (totally is going to call the bad sanses)

...they looked like you. But I could tell that it was an au or something.

Sans - ...I think I know who...

They stood out in the public. And sweet-talked us...

Sans - I uh.. Gotta call someone..

Okay??

Sans - I'll be over there...

Okay..?

* Sans quickly called the Bill! Sans *

Sans - I am so going to regret making a deal with him..

...
There's another way to do things yknow.
Try crucifixion.

Sans - ...huh?

Nail them to a piece of wood to hang my their hands and feet.

Sans - ...Just-.. Stand over there I have to do something..

???
Okayź

Sans - Alright listen.. I normally wouldn't call ya but I need your help.. (over protective )

....

Sans - No I will NOT make a stupid deal with ya..

....*cough*...

Sams - shush- I won't get rid of .. "that"

.........

Sans - I am NOT doing that- Just- *sigh*

*Falls asleep*

Sans - OI JUST-

*ZzzX100*

* Sans slammed his phone on the ground and blasted it bultiple times *

...huh?

Sams - GOSH I HATE THAT-

(WAIT SANS*)

???
(lol-)

(AAA-)

Sans - ...*sigh* I uh..

Speak up-

Sans - nevermind.. It's nothin'..

Alright..-

Sans - I should have just called someone else..

Call for god, I dunno.

Sans - ...I'm not calling erm.. "404"

.......
I'm surprised you know that being, honestly...

Sans - ..?

Oh, perhaps you weren't referring to Alpha. Nevermind then.

Sans - I uh... Alpha.. Wow- I uh-..

...forgettaboutit..

Sams - ..Anyways...

...?

Sans - ...I have a slight problem ...

...yeah?

Sans - ...The bad guys want me to join them..

Nah I can crucify Lst on my own-

Sans - ...This has been happening before all this...

Not surprised.

Sans - . . .

Honestly though. Why wouldn't they add a recruit eh?

Sans - . . . . . . I don't- . . . wait. . . I do. . . .

?????

Sans - It's erm.. Because ya can't really do anything to the original ... take Error for example.. he can't destroy Undertale or the monsters in it

Makes sense.
Also explains my undefined hp.

Sans - ..yeah

It also explains why Error hasn't f*cking killed me yet.

Sans - .. Maybe

Anyways.
....
........

Sans - ...?

...where were you?

Sans - . . . . . . .

.....

Sans - I don't want to talk about it. . .

Alright...
Fair enough.

Sans - Erm.. Anyway..

...

Sans - ...erm... What would you do if I ever.. did join them..?

Probably nothing. Maybe pay ya a visit every so often. I don't really take sides for anyone unless one of them I hate or love with a passion.

Sans - . . . really?

Yeah, actually. I kind of am one being among all AUS anyway.

Sans - . . . . oh

So yeah that sucks I guess?

Sans - ...erm..

What?
Since a piece of me is in every AU I get to experience all sorts of ways to suffer.

Sans - . . oh

Oh, the more you go into it, the more you realize wtf I deal with...

Sans - wow-

...think of it like your old man...
If he held the same role in every AU.

Sans - . . . . Don't talk about h i m

Sorry, guess I like talking about my good friends, is all.

Sans - ...It's okay

...I don't like to speak about my lost family either. So I guess it's natural.

Sans - . . .

...heh.
I'll stop there.

Sans - Eh okay- *Sans takes out another phone and calls Horror*

*I grab a radio*
*Jeopardy music starts playing*

Sans - Horror tell everyone that we have a code blue

.......?

Sans - HORROR SEND THE NUKES WE HAVE TO KILL LST NOW

..ok

Sans - I DON'T CARE- SEND THE NUKES-

Heheh-

Sans - OKAY- FINE- SEND THE ANGRY OCTOPUS-

WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE-

Sans - ...*s t a r e* (my dude hasn't had his coffee yet)

....
Well then...
I feel like a man who showed their best puzzle and someone pushed a box forward twice to solve it...

Sans - . . . .

....
I feel much better because you reacted.

Sans - * s t a r e *

...............

Sans - *ahem* Anyway..

...

Sans - Nightmare is prob killing lst now

Hopefully in the most brutal way possible..

Sans - ..I made sure he does..

Will it involve a taste of their own medicine?

Sans - ..N O

How about a brutal form of it?

Sans - ... N O

No?
Just gonna cast them "UnderHell"?

Sans - ...Yeah

Ah, fair enough.
Maybe I'll show them who's boss some other time..

Sans - ...*sigh* I have had no coffee and I swear if someone annoys me I will snap their neck-

...here then.
*Summons Sudden*

Sans - ...erm... h i

Don't ask me to try and speak for him. Idfk what he'd say. All I know is that you could ask for coffee or something...

Sans - . . . you have coffee-?

Sudden - ...Yeah-???

...

Sudden - I'm not giving you any- *teleports away*

Sans - ... I swear to god I will find you and I will give you the worst time-

Get back here...
*S!Changes is teleport ed back*

Sudden - Wait- No- *pulls out his gun*
Sans - . . . . *A more violent ver of Megalovania plays*

Now now you boneheads...
If you start blasting each other I'm gonna have a lot of paperwork to do.
Just give the man his coffee and you can leave.

Sudden - N e v e r

Sans - I will snap your neck, then I am going to push you down the stairs, watch as you fall down, pick you up bc your unconscious, put you in a meat grinder, put it in your families food, and watch as they have no idea they are eating you..

I'll get Alpha in here if you two don't calm down-

* le neck smap *

Sans - *picks up the coffee*

Don't. F*cking move. From where you stand. NOW.

Sans - ..?

*floor turns cyan*
YA HEAR ME?

Sans - erm-

Now, here's what's gonna happen.
I'm gonna revive coffee man here and send him back. YOU won't interfere in ANY way, shape or form. Do I make myself c l e a r ?

Sans - n O

Sir.
The further you raise this tension, the greater in power I become.
Push any further and I'll be forced to...
well, use a spell I don't know well.

Sans - Meh I got used to dying...

No, actually. This spell will just send you to a [[SNOWGRAVE]]

Sans - eh I'm okay with that too

Eternally?
Mmk cool-
Lemme just turn on your nervous system so that you may feel the whole thing.

Sans - ...?

*so basically without nerves you can't really feel any physical pain for real*
*someone boutta get frostbite on a whole new level*

Sans - Oh sht-

Now.
Let's see here...
*spawns Kris bc yes*
Tell me what to do since I can't rly do this on my own.
Here's a hint- check my magic.

Sans - Erm-

*Kris defended and selected SnowGrave for me*
...here we go.

Sans - Eh whatever

Yeah yeah I know this is gonna take a moment so let's see...
*sans looks to his left and sees an absolute zero whirlwind appear from nothing*

Sans - Eh whatever at least I don't have to watch Frisk kill my bro for the 198482058th time..

We COULD move the crystal surrounding you soon to the final room of Snowdin...

Sans - hm? Oh common I am kinda immune to seeing him die-

Okay but what if we turned HIM into an ice crystal after?
*whirlwind has turned into a blizzard*