YOUR MOM IS LIKE A LAGGY COMPUTER: SHE TOOK 9 WHOLE, LONG, SUFFERING MONTHS TO CREATE YOU. YOU WERE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF HER LIFE, AND THE MOMENT YOU WERE BORN, WHEN SHE SAW YOUR UGLY AHH FACE FOR THE FIRST TIME, SHE WISHED SHE COULD JUST PRESS ‘COMMAND + Z’. YOU’RE SO STUPID THAT THE DOCTOR WHO WILL DO YOUR AUTOPSY WHEN YOU’RE DEAD WONT BE ABLE TO FIND YOUR BRAIN. HE WILL LIST YOUR ‘CAUSE OF DEATH’ AS A “RAISIN LODGED IN THE BRAIN CANAL”. WHAT HE DOESN’T REALIZE IS THAT WHAT HE THINKS IS A RAISIN IS ACTUALLY THE BRAIN THAT YOU NEVER, EVER USED. YOU LOOK LIKE THE PRODUCT OF A LUMPY POTATO AND A MOLDY WHEEL OF CHEESE MET ON TINDER. YOU ARE LIKE A CLOUD: IT’S A NICE DAY WHEN YOU DISAPPEAR. GET LOST. YOUR FRIENDS ARE AS EXISTENT AS YOUR BRAIN. YOUR LIFE IS AS EXISTENT AS THE CHANCES THAT THE ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS WILL WIN THE WORLD SERIES. YOU’RE ONLY ON IMGFLIP BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS. YOU MAKE UNFUNNY MEMES BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR. AND NO, TWO WRONGS DO NOT MAKE A RIGHT. JUST ASK YOUR PARENTS.
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