*sigh*
what even...
Whatever.
Cue X-files music, I guess.

Bill Sans - Hiya..!

Heya..

Bill Sans - ........*he looked at you*

oh, was I supposed to ask you a question or something?
err, sorry.
guess the first impression is off the table now.

Bill Sans - ?

Ah, forgettabout it.
You don't seem to be who I remember, am I correct?

Bill Sans - no... I know who you are, kid!

...
Let me check my database...
I don't recognise you at all, you new or something..?

Bill Sans - I'm Sans, kid!!!

Sorry, I'm afraid you aren't fooling me.
Maybe the others, but I can see beyond that thick skull of yours.
Ehh, as long as you don't damage the timeline or anything I'll let you stay here.
Anyways, where's the REAL Sans?

Bill Sans - *insert goofy ahh Bill laugh*

Don't worry, you don't have to tell me.
I too, know lots of things.

Bill Sans - KID YOUR AN IDIOT-!!
*more goofy ahh Bill laugh*

If I'm an idiot then why have I already contacted Ink and Error?

Bill Sans - WHAT?!

In fact, I called them to come over here right when I walked in here.
They should be here in five, four, three, two...
*le appearance*
Alright.
So we can play this in several ways.
We're all capable of manipulating space-time, but here's the problem.
I can change a few things to be in my little posse's favor.
You know, like the ability to LOAD a file.
If of course they don't know already how to revive themselves.

Bill Sans - ...

Here's the deal.
You can surrender, and you won't be given any more than, hmm...
what shall be the charge for trying to permanently remove the original timeline and therefore everything?
I'd say 5 centuries.
There is another kind of sentence...
but only I could attempt it without being traumatized.
Other than that, we could simply take care of this old-fashioned style.
As in I rig the fight to make it impossible for you to win.
Yes, this is blackmail, Cipher.

Bill - You still can't make me give up the deal- well- the rigged deal-

*cough*
Hold my beer.
*A stupidly complex doomsday device surrounds Bill*
If you weren't aware, this isn't the judgement hall.
You attached yourself to the wrong page, bud.
I suppose you could also do community service...
meaning you locate and destroy players.
For I'd say 99 years, 364 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds.

Bill - !!!

Well, uhh.
To be honest with you, I had let my guard down for a bit.
I had gotten used to more chill AUs.
You had a shot at getting me fast.
But, anyway.
There's only one easy way out of this, and well...
He took about two years' time bleaching his eyes.
mind you, that was Fell.
So...
what's your decision eh?

Bill - ......

Take your time, we literally have an infinite amount of it.

Bill - .....I WON'T end my deal

...
your choice, then...
We don't even need this device.
I'LL RIP YOU APART ONE SUBATOMIC PARTICLE AT A TIME.

Bill - Try me kid....

I've brushed off 404 on my own, buddy.
You make me sick.

Bill - .....I have destroyed worlds, MULTIVERSES even.... I have made some people have infinite fun.. I have killed thousands.... I have even took control of Sans!

Anyone can take control of Sans, buddy.
I know I can.
Thousands?
I hate to break it to you but this is your forty-two thousandth encounter with me. That's how many times your empty SOUL has been turned into mere planck LENGTHS.
You've destroyed multiverses?
I CONSUME them.
You have made some have infinite fun eh?
I torture gods by merely being in their presence, whether me or a clone of myself.
You are obviously powerful, but just like the second dimension compared to the third, you are almost infinitely less powerful than me.
You think I really am who I am?
Trust me, I was never from this realm.
Even I don't know where I am from.
You're a 12th dimensional being, I can see that.
I reached omnipotence only recently myself.
Anyways.
You were saying?

Bill - !!!!!

Oh yeah, I'm also invulnerable to all forms of attack for reasons that I cannot allow you to know.
You're not the only one here who is aware, by the way.
I know that someone is watching us this very moment.
Maybe even two people.
*Us irl: WOT-*

*Irl me - EY YOU CSN'T BREAK THE 4TH WALL!!*

Bill - .........

Oops, heheh~
Anyways, I have my own deal for you!
As the overlord of the gigaverse, I will make you my servant..
You should be honored, really.

Bill - .?!

I mean, either that or I could lock you in an alternate hell dimension eternally.
Your choice!

Bill - I would rather be in hell-

Oh, don't worry, the Backrooms is the finest hell out there!
I'm sure you'd fit right in..!

Bill - ........F i n e

fine to what?

Bill - I'll be a stupid slave-

Alright.
Papyrus is the guy supplying us with food, k?

Bill.- Oh come on-

I'm kidding.
Each meal is made personally by me, based on how well you guys act overall meaning you could be getting anything from a jar of peanut butter to cake.

Bill - ......

Anyways, when would you like to start?
you pay with quests or something that I give you.

Bill - ...Never-

You're about one noclip from hell, I'd suggest you choose wisely.

Bill - Don't care. I am NOT giving up this puppet..

well have fun.
Your "puppet" will probably be stolen.
Some of those things down there I have trouble controlling, so you could end with a fate worse than death, or ME for that matter.

Bill Sans - Eh whatever- your friend Sans will die being my puppet-

That's where you're wrong.
Sans is in a completely separate world, I quarantined him when I suspected that Ink might cleanse the multiverse again..
that is merely a decoy.

Bill - .....damn it-

You have nothing to gain down there; trust me, I know.
Satan frickin' died down there.

Bill - w h a t

Yeah, you know.
He was sentenced there thinking he could survive.
bro died on level 420 I think.

Bill - ..........

To be fair it is a frozen wasteland where the only water is infected with something and it lacks exits.

Bill - W h a t e v e r

Man was a good friend of mine...
Anyways, you're going there woo!
Enjoy your permanent stay!
And one more tip-
DON'T TRUST ANYTHING.

Bill - Whatever-

Oh yeah, I locked this place down for a few centuries only for the most powerfully evil beings, but for me to have control I had to escape.
I therefore block all ways back to reality.
So, yeah.
Once you go in there's no turning back.

Bill - ....!

I'd suggest you don't go any further than 4.
that's about the safest place you'll find.
Or you could drive yourself insane and stick to the nauseating yellow walls of 0.

Error - Why are you giving him ways to survive-

Because.
I want to watch him suffer for as long as possible.
Who knows, he may think I'm lying.

Error - .....Tch-

Oh yeah, and since he can't really die in the first place, I set his spawnpoint within the last level he's in.

Error - Niceee

But if he gets stuck in a level that's inescapable I'll keep him there until he's died 10 times and then transport him back to where he was before that level.

Bill - ...

Anyways, are you ready for hell's big and scary brother?

Bill - Sure

*Irl me - BISH HES STILL POSSESIN SANS-

Alright.
Have fun.
*I separate Sans from the deal from absolute P O W E R as Bill noclips*

*irl me - YASSSSS*

*Sans was passed out on the floor. (not sleeping)*

welp..
I'll finish the job..
*I shove a spare SOUL into his ribcage*
that oughta do it.

Sans - wha-

don't ask what you've just experienced okay?
let's just get on with the experience..
You two can go back now, by the way.

Sans - my head hurts...

*They left*

ah, don't worry about it my bonehead friend...
the worst is gone now.

Sans - ....Okay?

don't ask what happened.
Let's just say "burning in hell" isn't even close to how bad of a time someone's going to happen.

Sans - ...?

Whatever.
take a nap if you want..

Sans - ...Alright kiddo

I know I will...

Sans - heh-

*I friggin' collapse where I stand*

Sans - heh. Nice. *does the same*

*my hp starts lowering slowly*

Sans - uhh-? Kiddo-?

I'm fine, just that what I just experienced took a lot of energy out of me..
not easy to teleport someone to a different dimension, you know?

Sans - ....?

...
What are you looking at me like that for?

Sans - ...Are you okay?

physically, no.
emotionally, no.
mentally, no.
spiritually, no.

* he hugged you *

eh..?
heh..
if only i had been the eighth...

Sans - yeah..

*le whisper*
stupid hole...

Sans - ...?

did I ever tell you how I had died?

Sans - ..
No

Have you ever visited the Ruins?

Sans - ....Eh- Yeah

You've noticed all those holes in the floor with some leading to switches, yeah?

Sans - yep

So, there used to be no leaves at the bottom.
Rendering the puzzles impossible for those who couldn't take the damage.
I had 20 hp at the time.
Guess what happened when I fell.

Sans - . . . . . . . . .

Yep.
Not even a chance did I have.
That tree outside Home provided the leaves necessary to make the falls safe.
Toriel didn't know that I had fallen, and I sat down there for a while living off of a little bit of monster candy hoping I'd be saved.
No elevators were there either.
So even if I hadn't starved to death after a terrible fall leaving me disabled, I couldn't get back up.

Sans - o h g o d

Ah, it's fine.
Toriel eventually found me crippled down there.
I don't remember what happened from there, but I guess I was carried from there to the King's castle to be part of the goals of the monsters.
For, well, let's see here...
A century?

Sans - ...

Do you remember Him?
He finally gave me a purpose.
Yet He's been SOULless longer than me.

Sans - w-well...

Do you..?
I don't really expect you to.
Were you even around before the Queen left?

Sans - I do... I was well- somewhere that I don't want to talk about

...
No need to talk about that place...
nor do we need to talk about our prophecy-riddled heroine.
I'm...
just going to take some time and rest..

Sans - .....Okay kiddo...

Sometimes I wonder who in this world has experienced the most suffering...
I've narrowed it down to the monsters, humans, and soulless that are self-aware...
that includes you, I, the first Fallen, Frisk, that flower, and he who is listening.
Meh...
This world will eventually be stomped into obscurity like me...
And, I'm one of eight that will never get a happy ending...
five others are the SOULs and then I guess the mouse never got his cheese...
the ninth we don't talk about.

Sans - .....Did you just talk about the man who speaks in hands?

(OH GOD OH SH- EVERYONE ITS HAPPENING STAY CALM-)

Oops..
Sorry bout that.
I just know some people so well that o start talking about them...

Sans - ...*mumble* Gaster...

forget it...
sorry.

Sans - Its okay..

*I finally start of the sleeping(

Sans - . . . . .

*about 7 days later..*

* Sans was talking with Fell and Swap *

mmf-
A-
WHAT YEAR IS IT?!

Sans - You have been asleep for 4 years-

oh.
lovely..

Swap - HELLO!!!

ow my head...

Swap - ?????

Fell - He wasn't you to shut the h*ll up

*sigh*
will you two quit it?
you're making it worse.

Swap - :(

Fell - Whatever

don't take it personally...

Sans - You okay kiddo-?

I dunno, have you ever slept for 5 friggin' years?