BUY THIS MEDICINE TO FEEL BETTER!
([say this really fast]if you take it and it goes even a molecule past where it should go, you will explode and your organs will be splattered all over the nearest person)
Medical company ads: buy this medicine if you’re slightly sore, it might just help!
The list of ways it might kill you:; “Tuberculosis”; “B.O.”; “Butt warts”; “Death”; “Brain decay”