Villager 1: Think it's in there?
Villager 2: All right. Let's get it!
Villager 1: Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?
Villager 3: Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread.
Shrek chuckles, revealing himself to be standing behind the mob.
SHREK: Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant.
The mob gasp.
SHREK: Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin...
Shrek slowly approaches as the villagers back away in fear.
Villagers: No!
SHREK: They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.
Villager 1: Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!
The villager waves his torch in Shrek's face. Shrek casually licks his fingers and pinches the flame, extinguishing the torch. The villager drops it.
Villager 1: Right...
Shrek terrifies the mob with a great frightening roar, his spit extinguishing all the remaining torches. He wipes his mouth and waits for the villagers to stop screaming.
SHREK: (Whispering) This is the part where you run away.
Shrek laughs as the men drop their torches and pitchforks and run away as fast they can.
SHREK: And stay out! (
He looks down and picks up a wanted poster dropped by one of the villagers. He reads it aloud.
SHREK: "Wanted. Fairytale creatures"?
He sighs and walks off. dropping the poster to the ground.
THE NEXT DAY - FOREST
Fairy tale creatures are put in chains and led into wagons by Duloc Guards. The Captain of the Duloc Guards sits at a table paying a line of people their rewards for turning in the fairytale creatures. Those waiting in line include Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Geppetto who is carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer carrying the Three Little Pigs.
GUARD: All right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!
THE CAPTAIN: Next!
GUARD: (Taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half)
THE CAPTAIN: That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!
The captain hands over the reward to the villager who turned the witch in. The villager mutters to himself.
Villager: Lousy twenty pieces...
GUARD: Get up! Come on!
Waiting in line is Donkey on a leash and his owner. He looks in horror at the witch and a group of dwarves being loaded into a wagon.
GUARD: Sit down there! Be quiet!
Mama Bear and Papa Bear are locked inside giant cages, with Little Bear in his own cage.
LITTLE BEAR: (crying) This cage is too small.
DO
