What in the hot crispy kentucky fried bowl cut king tut guacamole tarnation, absolutely what in the godforsaken cheese grated cracker jack mini snack football leave all sister-f**king everloving f**k was so bad that in response to the trauma you had to make this abomination of things, which looks like if a pile of trash and literal dog poop had 5 kids and they all bred with each other for 3 generations. Who was nice enough to let you leave the womb, just to realize their mistake when you made this. Holy mother of pearl, oh my god, what have I done to deserve this, dude? Listen I lost all my loot in Minecraft the other day and I'm not even half as upset as what I just saw on my screen right there. That was cringe manifested. That was cringe personified. That was the single black hole in the universe from which all cringe in the entire world spawns. My eyes have been assaulted to a degree that I could not even imagine. I want compensation. I feel violated. I feel traumatized and I want to die more than even before. I never knew why you were such an idiot, but now i do. Your father left you after he saw this and your mother tossed you out to sea because you were ruining the world. You live in a shack outside 728 Castro St., San Francisco, and you have since 2013. Your IP address is 17.172.224.47. Your real name is John Baker. You can kiss your freedom goodbye, I'm framing you for murder because of what you singed into my brain without my permission. I hope you die by a stray bullet ricocheting off of a police car from a Desert Eagle owned by a 54yo mafia mobster in Murat, Bari, Italy at 3:42 in the morning after spilling coffee all over yourself and your clothes. I hope your bones get grounded up into a paste and fed to the people you care about inside the most disgusting f**king dishes known to man. I hope you get buried under a car wreck in Maine where nobody will ever find your resting place. I hope every flower that comes within a mile of your burial location wilts and f**king dies on the spot. I cannot, will not tolerate what I saw on my screen just a few seconds ago.
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