Definitely not thinking about it every time I see a kitchen knife

Look you may not know me and I may not know you but let me tell you one thing: it's possible to have freedom from your pain. I had nearly died 3 months ago to heart failure, betrayed by my boyfriend and lost my job but I looked at the positive in life and found freedom in my mind, so at least hear this geezer out (even tho I'm 18) and seek the positive before seeking the negative

I'm really sorry for what happened to you.
I'm not going to kill myself, yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't have suicidal intentions.

Good