As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree, I really look good in black... fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
It's as primitive as can be
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish paradise
Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an Amish paradise

It's the
Dead body shootin', mutant lootin', Penus youthin',
Rootin' snootin', Luger pootin', Ruger loafin',
Bullet showin', way too long grenade foldin',
Triangle, I might mangle your weapon to rap
Flash color coded clips and an RPG hat
Baby baby blue ammo, turn red when it clap
Shoot your face in the fat, give your cadaver a slap
Where the level boss at?
I wanna click-click-clack kapow clickclickclickclack that

-Y.V.:
See 'em, shoot 'em, skin 'em, wear 'em, mount 'em on the wall
If they're completely armor-plated, I'ma shoot 'em in the
Baaaalllin', like a black hole, a vulture flock
You violently challenge, your thangs don't cock
Your things get shot, your party stops
When I roll up Teen Wolfin' on the ambulance top
This ain't no game, ain't never been no show
And I'll gladly gun down the oldest lady you know

Chorus (Repeats 2x)
-Y.V.:
I don't need no friends, I don't need no phone
Just a bag of severed head and my Nuclear Throne

-Fish (or Steroids):
Me no believe in trends, me no believe in genome
All me be believe in is the Nuclear Throne

-Y.V.:
I don't need no bread, I don't need no home
Just everybody dead and my Nuclear Throne

-Fish (or Steroids):
Me kill you out of nowhere, me kill you all alone
Me kill you in the face for my Nuclear Throne

-Fish (or Steroids):
Trouble don't wanna, you me gon' gun down your mama
We be for fun kill a llama, do-donkey zebra piranha
Me ride giraffe up on toppa and I'm gonna chahana matata
Who want a piece of the guy who got da horse meat off de schwarma? Kun gara!
Shoot you in the morning, get your blood on my eggs
Shoot you in the hand, head, face, chest, neck, legs
At Chrismahannukwanzaa got him hung on a tree (Boo!)
Jump out me be gunnin' down your fat family
Wanna spell a good time to me, it's M-U-R-D-E-R
N-O-N-S-T-O-P, you don't wanna be-hee hee hee
Your booty a shooty, better than good nudie movie
To me I can get that kooky, hot like the Huxtable Rudy!