Guys if your fatherless go buy a dad

if you want to be a dad, just buy a child

Yep

if you're a female and you want to be a dad, identify as trans and then buy a child

Yep

"we don't accept money. to purchase a dad you must delete gacha life and genshin impact, and then touch grass. subsequently, your new dad will be waiting at your front door."

Yes lol