Cheese. Lot’s of cheese. So much f**king cheese.
Who the f**k told you to do it? Who said it was a good idea to start eating cheese? You, my friends, are a national disgrace. But don’t worry, there’s a long history of greed-induced heart attacks, explosions, and other attempts to derail a mouse’s life so that we can eat a few blocks of extruded cow shit. Here are a few classic movies in which rodents try to hijack the lives of people who don’t deserve to live past the age of seven. (All times Eastern.)
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First let’s revisit this 1964 classic. The protagonist is a mouse who kills the baby’s momma for food, but not before she gives birth to a mutant offspring that is a physical and psychological force to be reckoned with. There are also rats.
We kick things off with a psychotic cat who gets off on decapitating pigeons for dinner, even though he knows they have been trained by the government to hate him.
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Chicks are gross. Cat girls are grosser. Plus, there are superlatives to be thrown around, like “grossest” and “grossest of all time.”
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The question is, which is worse, rats or cats? I say cats. Rats are the scum of the earth. Cats are the mammal equivalent of a human
