LUKE LOST BOTH PARENTS AT BIRTH, ONE DIES, AND ONE DISSAPEARS, HIS SISTER WAS TREATED LIKE A LITTLE GODDESS, WHILST HE WAS BEING RAISED IN A SLUMHOLE, TO FARM MOISTURE, HE WITNESSES THE DEATH OF HIS AUNT AND UNCLE, LOSES TWO OF HIS MENTORS, AND A HAND, HE DISCOVERED THAT THE SECOND MOST EVIL PERSON IN THE GALAXY, WHO I HAVE YOU KNOW IS LITERALLY THE GALAXY'S DICTATOR, IS ALSO HIS FATHER, AND THAT HIS CRUSH IS ACTUALLY HIS SISTER, WHOM HE KISSES, HE HAD TO SAVE HIS BEST PAL FROM THE HEAD OF A CRIME SYNDICATE, HE WAS ALMOST EATEN BY A YETI, AND A BUNCH OF MAN-EATING CARE BEARS, AND FINALLY, HIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT WAS FLUSHED DOWN J.J. ABRAHMS' TOILET. CHECKMATE.
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