You dare insult Skillet? (drawn by yousomuch_ on twitch)

Korey Cooper: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to? Elias: Schrödinger's boys. Jen Ledger: F***! John Cooper: What about cracking open a cold milkshake? Seth Morrison: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. Seth Morrison: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison. Korey Cooper: ... Elias: ... Jen Ledger: ... John Cooper: ... Seth Morrison: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.