SO, SQUIDWARD CAN CHANGE BETWEEN A MORE HUMANOID SHAPE AND A MORE OCTOPUS-LIKE NATURAL SHAPE
PLUS, HES ANGRY ALL THE TIME
PLUS, HE'S SURVIVED MANY DEADLY INCIDENTS, AND HAS NOT DIED AND HE'S SEVERAL TIMES OLDER THAN THE AVERAGE GIANT OCTOPUS; SQUIDWARD IS AN ELDER GOD OF WRATH