Lemon summoning

It was a big issue back in --let's see now... oh, 2018 or so.

Huh I didn’t know

What was the issue?

It's kind of a long story but...

Back in the truly dark ages, a there was a small tech company in Taiwan called Xong Hie Technologies and Manufacturing L.L.C. The company was still somewhat private as the infamous "Hu-chu" code drawn up by the CCP's Industrial Regulation Branch had not yet gone into effect (so pre 2009). One of the owners was an aspiring young man named Roi Lee Kuncho. He managed the production line tech development for for Xong Hie L.L.C., and was very meticulous in his policy of personaly overseeing the construction of a the equipment in each new facility.

One, day, Kuncho received a visit from his great Uncle Choy. Choy had heard about his nephew's business success and decided to buy a plane ticket and fly out to visit him, congratulate him on his success, and present him with a very important gift.

The Roi Lee family had always been part of the Chinese industrial scene. Ever since the Great Leap Forward, they had a history of managing government assets and developing new production methods for everything from machine-guns to toilet paper. Their brightest moment, however, came in the late 1980's. While the rest of the country foundered in the depths of a massive economic downturn, Kuncho's Grand father, Roi Lee Shichu, has heading a remarkably successful candy manufacturing company. This company was sustained solely be a trade deal that Shichu had managed to work out with the CCP that allowed him to export his candy, free of tax, to Europe.
But in the year 1990, things changed for Shichu. He was a very old man in declining health, and in February of that year he suffered two major strokes which severely damaged and altered his brain. Then in march, he received news that the government had decided to revoke his tax exemption deal. This sank his company immediately, leaving him drowning in the midst of his crumbling corporate empire. The stress for this situation left him bed ridden, and then on December 16, 1991, he had another stroke. This stroke left him a raving lunatic, and he would lie for days on end in a bed deep in the mental health ward of the grungy, outdated Xoh City Hospital, repeating the name of his dead company over and over. One day, Kuncho's great uncle Cho decided to visit Shichu. Cho new the old man was dying, but he wanted to make him feel loved in his last days. As he packed his bag in preparation to visit the hospital, Cho noticed a little bag of Shichu's old candies, left over from the glorydays

of the company. He decided to take some to the old man, hoping they would cheer him up a bit.

When he arrived, however, he was stoked to see just how bad Shichu's condition was. He lay there staring up a the dirty sealing, his chest rising just slightly with every breath, the worn-out old medical equipment humming around him. He looked as if he were on the verge of death at that very second.

He had been in high hopes that the old man would die soon and be put out of his misery.

Cho walked up to him, and gently placed one of the candies on his chest, whispering a greeting in his ear.

The instant he felt the pressure of the small pice of surgery syrup on his chest, Shichu sat up, as if he had be electrocuted.

In a trance, he sized the little candy and quickly freed it of its wrapper with his wrinkled skeleton-like fingers. Then he suddenly gave an unearthly scream and held the tiny, translucent sugar-lemon up to the florescent lights above him.

In a instant, Shichu fell back on his pillow, dead.

After his death, his body was immediately take to a mass cremation center. The hospital needed the bed, and Cho couldn't afford and actual burial. Shichu's ashes were placed in a small ceramic pot, and sealed. After the job was done, Cho took the pot back home with him, to the mountains.

By the time Kuncho received his visit from his great uncle, Cho was an old man himself. Cho new that his time was soon coming, and he wanted to pass the relic of Shichu's ashes on to Kuncho. "Your company would have made him proud" Cho told the young man.

Now Kuncho did not think very much of the importance of the little jar his great uncle gave him. In fact, he simply placed it in the pocket of his jacket and forgot about it. It was still in his jacket when he put the jacket on the next day before heading to inspect a new semiconductor facility that Xong Hie had just constructed.

While Kuncho was looking at one of the cobalt extruding machines that afternoon, it chanced that the jar containing Shichu's ashes fell from his pocket, and into the machine. This tainted that batch of cobalt semiconductors with the old mans ashes.

Most of the semiconductors made in that factory when into modems, that were then sold to an American importer to brought them to the U.S. thorough the port of down in Palm Beach. The Modems made it all across the country, and into the home of many normal American citizens.

Every once in a while, a person who owns of uses one of these modems with accidentally trip the GFCI circuit that connects to the outlet power the modem. When this happens, it sends a temporary jolt of Direct current into the modem, causing some of its semiconductors to melt.

As the semiconductors melt, the energy from the outlet transfer directly to the crystallized molecules of Shichu's ashes locked inside of them. Then, out of thin air, sprit of the crazed old man rises in the only shape it loved on earth: the shape of lemon sugar candy.

Most of the modems were fried by about 2018. That's why it sent happen very often any more, but there you have it.

That's how it went down.

I can tell that this is a joke but a very good one at that