WOMAN LISTEN, I’M SICK AND TIRED OF YOU YELLING AT ME FOR NO REASON, I’M JUST A INNOCENT CAT FROM INSTAGRAM AND I BOUGHT MYSELF A SALAD, I KNOW I’M A CAT THAT MAKES JOKES BUT YOU SEEM TO TAKE EVERYTHING SERIOUSLY, I COME HERE TO GET A SALAD MADE OF LETTUCE, CABBAGE, KALE AND BRUSSEL SPROUTS AND YOU SHOW UP SAYING SOME NAME OF A COMPANY AND BLAME ME FOR IT, I HAVE A 5 STAR REVIEW ON MY COMEDY PAGE, I CAN SEE THAT YOUR FRIEND IS CONSTANTLY TRYING TO CALM YOU DOWN, LIKE MY NAME ON INSTAGRAM IS SMUDGE THE CAT WHICH IS MY REAL NAME AND YOU ARE SOME WOMAN FROM A REALITY SHOW HAVING A MELTDOWN OVER SOMETHING, LIKE I’M ALSO TRYING TO SHOW MY PARENTS I’M DOING MY DIET AND TO AVENGE MY SISTER AFTER SHE DIED 3 YEARS AGO AND I WAS HELPLESS, I’M REALLY GETTING DEPRESSED FROM MY LIFE SINCE I CAN’T PAY RENT AND YOU KEEP ON COMING INTO MY LIFE WITH THESE STUPID LOGOS SAYING THE NAME, LIKE I KNOW IT’S WHAT IT IS BUT I LIKE TO JOKE AROUND BUT IT NEVER HELPS MY GET ANY HAPPIER, SO JUST STOP TORTURING ME FOR ONCE, ALSO:
IT’S FASHION FART; IT’S FASHION ART
