Y'all Got Any More Of That

Kanye West has become the president

November 4th, 2020

Against all odds, Kanye West has won the presidency through the sheer power of his fanboys/girls and his new release "Like a President ft. LonelyIsland".

As the day comes to an end, many news outlets speculate on his policies, replaying old clips of comedic and nonsensical things.

November 7th, 2020

Kanye West has completely shut the borders, no one in, no one out, under the guise of coronavirus containment, research begins on a method of obscuring the united states.

February 1st, 2021

By now people are wondering what Kanye’s grand plan is, a few memes have broken out, comparing the situation to Wakanda, but no one bats an eye.

The right doesn’t care what he does, as the economy is booming thanks to kanye practically resurrecting the economy with his new merch “U.S. Freedom Bonds”.

No one knows how they’re made, but owning just one makes you feel incredibly powerful, as though you were young again.

However, Kanye only sells them in small batches.

Due to this, billionaires have invested upwards of trillions of dollars into making sure they get their hands on love bonds, with the US government being the only one who has any idea what they’re made out of, causing counterfeits and copycats to be laughable.

The Left lets him do what he wants as he recently came out as gay, polyamorous, and even discovered a new sexuality, his male partner, Tyler Demetri Joonies, is an astrophysicist in the year 2054, even though Kanye has not met him, he pronounces his love to him and comes out as the first Futur-sexual.

December 25th, 2021

The U.S. has completely paid off their debt to china, healthcare is free not because Kanye set up an elaborate social net to catch people who can’t afford insurance, but because his Freedom Bonds earned so much money that hospitals have enough money to run at full capacity for 300 years.

Research into methods of turning the US invisible are still ongoing, but with promising results.

A rich business man named [REDACTED] managed to smuggle a Freedom Bond out of the US, through his private yacht.

To his surprise, as soon as he reached international waters the bond lost its brilliant color, and he no longer felt young, in fact, he felt as though he was older than he was.

He begins plans to fund the reverse engineering of a freedom bond.

July 4th, 2022

President Kanye has withdrawn all military troops, auxiliary or otherwise, stating that “The United States have become too

Rest of the copy paste didn’t send

disconnected on a global scale to continue these dangerous war games”

Despite what seems to be a sudden withdrawing of troops, there are no insurrections, and the middle east has miraculously become more stable.

Freedom.Inc, established to reverse engineer freedom bonds, has made significant progress, although it is unable to determine the makeup, they conclude that they are made with 100% Local Materials, hence why they don’t work outside of the US.

Kanye declares that the project to close off america via “an invisibility cloak” has concluded, with less than satisfactory results.

Will instead be funding Clean Nuclear Energy.

April 17th, 2023

Nuclear Power Plants have popped up across the nation, adding free electricity and utilities to the benefits of being an American, alongside healthcare, simply because electricity is so cheap that it costs more to withhold it than it does to let everyone have it.

Freedom Inc have discovered the secret behind the legendary Freedom Bonds, its the will of the American People.

Using an energized form of the American “Spirit” Kanye was able to create mythical bonds which restore vigor to anyone, they suspect he harvests it during his numerous rallies and tours.

Everyone outside of America has been declared a 1st-ish world country, with many people, rich and poor alike, clamoring to be let in.

Everyone is proud of anything slightly close to America, clothes and appliances rumored to be made in america (since america exports nothing) are regarded as rare collectibles, similar to a beatles record.

August 29th, 2023

Kanye’s first term is beginning to end, but everyone knows that a re-election would be a landslide, America is positively glowing, and even has China owing them vast sums of money.

Freedom Bonds only get stronger as the american spirit is raised higher and higher by their enigmatic leader, but replications are unsuccessful.

In an effort to combat him, the Democrats and the Republicans have merged into one party, the Republicrats, even with this, they stand no chance.

The whole world envied America, but soon, things would change, Kanye had been watching Black Panther everyday since his presidency, and he knew he needed a way to block America off from the world.

Luckily, there were a massive amount of nuclear power plants sitting around the country.

Kanye had a plan.

September 21st, 2024

Considering the circumstances, it was actually a tossup as to who would win the presidency, with the Republicrat

running on a direct, yet split platform.

As though they had been frankenstiened together, their policies were a mix between far left and far right.

Surprisingly, 40% loved it.

However, Kanye had an ace up his sleeve.

September 23rd, 2024

Millions of powerplants across the nation had malfunctioned, practically erupting in radiation, with the estimated death tolls to be somewhere in the real of 4 million.

Kanye responded like a hardened president, containing the disasters, safeproofing the unaffected plants, and launching an investigation into what caused the disaster.

To the rest of the world, the US had exploded, with reported deaths of 100 million.

America went from being the 1st world country to a 3rd world country overnight.

Special clearance was needed to even fly over the once glorious states, and you can forget about landing, a select few representatives were chosen to brave the dangers of the US, each country sending them with methods to resist the radiation which had surely overtaken the land.

But, to the Americans, nothing of that scale happened.

Kanye had it controlled so well it was almost as though he had prepared specifically for this.

Truthfully, only around 500k people died, most being prisoners or so elderly that even freedom bonds couldn’t preserve them for much longer.

The investigation finished, arresting prominent members of the Republicrats Party for orchestrating a coup.

Kanye had achieved his Wakanda, and he still had 4 more years to be president.

C H E E S E

Cheez