*walks up to the tree* bro, you ok?

???: hm? Oh. Yes, why wouldnt I be?

your freaken talking to nature!

*looks at owl* I can hear him... he can hear me... theres nothing weird about that

one of us is on drugs...

*rolls eyes* I doubt that

*Blinks* might be you... not me

ooookayyyyy, *pulls out a gun* shoo bird! "*shoots into the sky multiple times as the bird get spooked and flutters its wings*

*shrugs* ok

*after a while we come to a field with lots of tall grass* in hear, if you want to live.

FIne.

ok now if you want to stop hallucinating, please listen to me *the owl comes back and lands on your shoulder, then hoots loudly in my face*

*laughs* he told you to shut up

hey you like my mask birdy? huh? well guess what? this mask is based on a bird skull! and if it weren't for the fact that you saw someone following me, i would be unloading my entire magazine on you right now!

*tries to contain laughter... unsuccessfully*

*jumps down* *owl comes down to and lands on head* Please stop it.

who did you see anyway!? *shouts at the owl*

*hoots* He said it was a man in all black

sry man,but... look, i dont normally help people other than myself, so can you let me try this once? i dont care if it comes back to bight me just like every other time.

*rolls eyes* fine

ok so first allow me to introduce you to my dog *pretends to pick up a dog behind me*

*twists arm so you drop gun* I wouldn't if I were you.

That there was an idiot on the way

wait, you guys saw someone else? i knew i was being followed *takes my arm back and awquardly tries to tape it back on.

*blinks* what dog?

ow! you too? *grabs my other gun with my other arm as you pop the one i was pointing at the bird out of its socket* look man, calm down, its just a bird. heck, it was probably gonna die tomorrow anyway.

*shoots my arm where my elbow popped , it rips of in your arms.* if that bird could REALY talk, then what did he tell you?

...uhh, you cant see it yet, your still hallucinating about a bird *tries to take it off your head, but it scratches off my mask and continues to claw my face* OWWWWwwwweeeeeeee...... *i let it go, and as it flies off i aim my gun at it*

*shrugs* thats what the owl said

ok, we are in trouble, follow me *grabs you hand and starts running*

everyone thinks owls are soooo smart just cuz they look old. WAKEUP CALL PEOPLE its eagles! i know, cuz i met one! and he actually made sound arguments instead of going around saying "hoot hoot hoooooot"! *starts dancing around and flapping my arms*

*starts laughing*

whats. so. funny.!?

youre dancing ability

...like me... -_-

HAHAHA!

wait, your just a bird! who cares what birds say! other then ol schizophrenia-nature-vegan guy

*blinks*

oh wait,... i forgot eagles. i mean, the just screech, but when it screeches you know they mean businesses

OK if you aren't hallucinating, when the bird hoots do you hear it in English? or do you have to translate? *i smile wide* if there is any argument that can debunk your claim, its talking animal logic in movies! *looks to the side and winks*

It speaks English

then why cant i understand it? *i take a heroic stance as though i had just won the argument*

Because you dont focus on its voice

i slouch back down* thats all i can focus on! HoOoOoOoOt!

Me: Assassin?!?!

no, i just casually go around carrying weapons everywhere i go because i dont use them

ok...

*whispers to owl* speak to him *says to you* focus on its voice. *you suddenly hear a voice inside your head* Hello.

how do you un-hear animals? his *ehem* voice, is more annoying then his hoot.

....oh hi, WHY DID YOU SCRATCH MY FACE!

You cant unhear them

Owl: You deserved it *I stiffle a laugh*

i dont care how racist this sounds, but, YOUR A BIRD! IM AN ASSASSIN! if anyone gets to make judgment calls on who deserves what i think its me.

well you know what they say, violence is not the answer...

True

do as i say, not as i do... *grabs the owl*

...ok

*he starts clawing at me again* dont worry you will be ok *stuffs him in a bag i pulled out of on of my pouches

... I guess thats better

"hey!"

he gave me the idea by scratching up my face, the way i see it, its just karma

*rolls eyes*

how long do you think till he runs out of oxygen?

ummm. not long

*stuffs him in my back pouch* well, what now?