the entire Meet the Scout script

[Faster Than a Speeding Bullet plays as the warehouse doors in Well rise, revealing a crouching RED Scout with other members of RED team.] [The Scout watches various BLU team members stationed around the center point: an Engineer industriously making defensive preparations, a smoking Spy, and a Soldier juggling rockets.] [Scout pumps his Scattergun and RED runs out to attack the point.] [The Scout charges into a fierce battle on Well, quickly outpacing all his teammates. He runs towards the center of the map, dodging everything that BLU throws at him, then outruns and crosses a passing train as it crushes a BLU Soldier and Pyro.] [Meet the Scout's Title Card] [Scout walks in front of the Meet the Scout text, from off frame.] Scout: "Um... I-I don't even know where to start with you. I mean, do you even know who you're talkin' to?" [Cut to a scene of a BLU Heavy, sitting near the third control point in Granary about to take a bite of a Sandvich, when he is poked in the head by the Scout's Bat.] Scout: "Yo, what's up?" [Cuts back to Scout in front of text.] Scout: D-Do you have any idea, any idea who I am?" [Back to Heavy and Scout, who are in a fistfight while yelling. Cuts back to Scout.] Scout: "Basically - kind of a big deal!" [Back to fight. Scout is strangling Heavy with his Bat.] Scout: [flexes a scrawny arm] "Oh man, that's beautiful. Heh!" [Cut back to fight, Heavy now has the Scout in a headlock. Cuts back to Scout.] Scout: " Ya' listenin'? OK. Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brotha'- [pokes the camera] I hurt people." [Cut back to fight, The Scout whacks the Heavy in the gut with his Bat.] Scout: "BOINK!" [Cuts back to Scout.] Scout: "I'm a force a' nature!" [Scout hits the Heavy in the chin.] Scout: "BONK!" [Cuts back to Scout.] Scout: "If you were from where I was from, you'd be f**kin' dead!" [Cuts back to fight; Heavy is collapsed on the ground trying to reach for his Sandvich; the Scout runs up the side of a shipping container, jumps off and slams his Bat into the Heavy's head.] [Cuts back to Scout.] Scout: "WOOO!" [Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays.] [Scene fades in to reveal Scout sitting on the twitching body of the Heavy eating his Sandvich; the point is now RED's.]; MEME DESC