WHILE YOU WERE INVADING SOUTH KOREA I WAS BUILDING NUKES; WHILE YOU FAILED TO GAIN THE SUPPORT OF CHINA I MASTERED ENCIRCLEMENT; WHEN YOU LAUNCHED A SUICIDAL BOMBING CAMPAIGN OF JAPAN I RECEIVED INNER PEACE; AND NOW THAT THE ALLIES ARE ON THE DOORSTEP OF PYONGYANG AND YOUR CITIES LAY IN ASH, YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO ASK RUSSIA FOR HELP?