i wanna join the child army of the ussr

Come join me

Nah. They always give ya the shitty rusted up guns and no food. You gotta join a child army that actually feeds ya.

nazi youth/j

Nah. They'll grind your bones to make gunpowder.

mhhh idk but possibly france? if i lied about my age

Yep.
French foreign legion needs young men to shoot [terrorists] in north Africa. Just tell em you're old enough to drink and down a full bottle of merlot in front of the recruiting officer.