Pick up the phone

*Picks up phone*
LMAO CHINA SUX XDXDXDXDXDXDXXDDXDXXDXDXDDXDXXDDXDXDXXDXXDDXDXXDXDDXDXDXXDXDXDDXDXDXXDDX

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? MAKE ME DISAPPEAR? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHASUYYFHDGLHAKSGLKSGHLAKSJGLSDGJLSKDJGLSDKJGLSDKJGLDSGJLDKGJFSLDKJGLSDKFJLSKDJGNFSMUVMEIRMV

You execution date is to tomorrow.

Oh yeah? Im gonna execute china then.

(Furx)
Picks Up who is this

Hello 公民 we heard you have been doing suspicious thing on the internet. So we are going to send our leader xi jinping to put you in jail

I think you got the wrong person

*answers phone*

Ni hao ma

bing chilling

O ku

C (aka irl me): . . . Really? At 8am in the morning?

Hello citizen. Would you like to join the communist party of China

C: ... huh?

Please do so now 公民

C: *ahem* 你疯子我不要跟你一起. I can't get into China, there's something called ✨coronavirus✨

Do not use our virus as an excuse. You will come to Beijing now or lose social credit

C: Australia says otherwise. Don't wanna break any laws

(Xi jinping is at your door)

C: F**K YOU E[redacted]
(e is sister)

C: sorry that was my sister

[ Naeko the ultimate poet ]
"hi *INSERT NAEKO'S LAST NAME COZ I HAVEN'T THINK OF ONE* residence"

Bing chilling?

"sorry i don't understand-"

Bing chilling (ice cream)

"sorry don't have it?''

No. Want bing chilling?

"im sorry but NO"

*SHE HAD POINT LE GUN*

Blaken:*picks up the phone*

Hello citizen. It’s time to do an update on tiktok cause we need to steal more peoples data and need more money

Blaken:...

The bus is at the road. Get on the bus before it leaves.

Blaken:...

HAHAHAHAHHA

Won Cena: HelO?

Hello 公民. Time for you to come over to Beijing to help us out with tiktok because we are trying to get some more money

Chris: *picks up phone* 怎麼了，鐘？

你好公民。我们从我们的领导那里得到报告说你在互联网上的活动很粗略。

對不起，先生。 我的朋友 Ha-Seong Kim 向我介紹了一種叫做“色情”的東西。 我不能停止看它。

我知道了。这还不是全部。您还搜索了台湾是一个国家。

我不会否认这一点。 我的执行日期是什么时候？

明天

行

Hello?

你好公民。我们从我们的领导那里得到报告说你在互联网上的活动很粗略。

真的吗？直到现在我才想过这个！

好吧，中国共产党政府告诉我你搜查了天安门广场事件。

好吧，有人说了些什么，我从来没有听说过，所以我查了一下。

好吧，有人搜索过它。在您的设备上。

是的。那是我。