You know they say that all PIES are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Marie Callendar’s and you can see that statement is not true. See, normally if you put a pie in the oven you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But I'm a culinary freak and I'm not normal! So you got a 25%, AT BEST, to burn a pie. Then you add My oven temperature to the mix, your chances of winning drastically go down. See the 3 way, at Thanksgiving, you got a 33 1/3 chance of winning, but I, I got a 66 and 2/3 chance of winning, because Marie Callendar KNOWS they burnt the pie, it’s their fault and they cannot deny it.
So Marie Callendar , you take your 33 1/3 chance, minus my 25% chance and you got an 8 1/3 chance of winning. But then you take my 75% chance of winning, if we was to go one on one, and then add 66 2/3 per cents, I got 141 2/3 chance of winning at . See Marie Callendar, the numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for you at Thanksgiving.
~ Sharron Weiss, Culinary Champion.
