"WHAT IN GOD'S--" Tofu stumbles back, startled

*her mask is on* Z-Eta-65-test6: oh- sorry! *nervous chuckle*

He takes a step back, f**king memory, he forgot his big brush (weapon), now he feels like he's gonna die.

Z-Eta-65-test6: by the way i'm not going to kill you

He doesn't trust her completely... "O-Okay.."

*taps the right side of the mask and it disintegrates down to her neck and then into her chest*

Holy shit! He hasn't seen such modern robot, he would think she's an alternate reality traveler, that only few people on the multiverse are...

(there's millions of them and you're right that she travels from universe to universe)
Z-Eta-65-test6: hey... you got any food? i'm hungry

"Oh... A-Alright.. Follow me.. I guess..."

Z-Eta-65-test6: thanks

They go to a simple house, he was there, just eating... looking at the f**king robot eating, literally confused-

Z-Eta-65-test6: what? you've never seen a robot eat regular food before?

"No- Not at all..." He shakes his head as he continues eating.

Z-Eta-65-test6: huh... well get used to it

"Oh-... Okay..." He kept eating as he can't stop overthinking of what the hell is happening.

*finishes eating and takes care of her plate*

"Man- I thought robots only fill themselves with oil or battery to survive... you are... very- different.." He stood up as he also takes care of his own plate...

Z-Eta-65-test6: that's how robots are from my universe

"Universe?"

Z-Eta-65-test6: yeah

He turned to her. "You... You're an Alternate Reality traveler..."

Z-Eta-65-test6: mhm... there's millions of people that are

"Millions?!" He nearly fell down to the floor. It can't be! Millions of travelers?! This is chaos!!

*catches him before he hit the ground* Z-Eta-65-test6: yeah

"Oh, no!! This is bad, really bad!"

Z-Eta-65-test6: why? and how?

"They can... They can raid universes, they probably would use it for the good.. or the bad!!"

*flinches*

"Oh God, this would be the omniverse end!"

Z-Eta-65-test6: not exactly

Hans: AMERICAN ROBOT
Ivan: -SCREAMS IN RUSSIAN-

Z-Eta-65-test6: what the f**k?

Hans would grab a stick and scream ‘FUR DAS KAISER’ and hit the robot
Ivan would hit it with his bayonet

*the 4 glass shards around her slice both weapons in half*

Hans: Uh, not Fur Das Kaiser?
Ivan: NOOOOOO MY MOSIN
He’d cry next to his rifle

Z-Eta-65-test6: give me 3 good reason why i shouldn't kill you right now? (her mask was and still is on during that)

Hans: We want to sell you something.
Ivan: We didn’t know you weren’t a capitalist
Hans: And uh, we have a treaty!

Z-Eta-65-test6: what are we playing? 2 lies and a truth?

Hans: No, uh..
Ivan: Hans just get into the tanm
They’d jump into a heavy tank, but they’d both get stuck upsidedown in the hatch

*flicks the tank and she puts a huge dent in it*

Ivan: AH CRAP OUR TRANSMISSION!
Hans: I thought only German tanks had that problem.

Z-Eta-65-test6: now you're not going anywhere

Hans: YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE ARNAMENT!
He’d fire the ~55mm gun

*the glass shards shred it*

Hans: Oh for f**ks sake.
Ivan: Wait, we have a bucket, full of water.
Hans: oh.
He’d grab the bucket and run to the robot

Z-Eta-65-test6: that won't do anything

Hans would spill the water in the bucket, but something kept sticking to the bottom
Hans: Oh, hey there little buddy
He’d say as he looked into the bucket

Z-Eta-65-test6: dude

He’d ignore the robot, instead he’d talk to the goo stuck on the bottom of the bucket

Z-Eta-65-test6: what the f**k

Hans: SHUT UP, We have something stuck on the bottom of the bucket
He’d then pull it, revealing a shark tail of sorts, which he’d pull even more

*facepalm*

Hans: Oh sorry, we’re meant to fight, right
He’d unholster his Luger and fire 4 rounds before his gun jams.

*the buklets ting off*

He’d hastly try to fix the gun, throwing it on the ground and stomping on it.
Ivan: I guess we give up, we don’t really have a way to defend ourselves.

Z-Eta-65-test6: good god...

Ivan: so, can we intrest you in something we found next to a laboratory?

Z-Eta-65-test6: no

Ivan: Oh well.
Hans: NONONO I’M NOT DRAGGING THAT THING BEHIND MYSELF ANYMORE
IT LEAVES A MESS IN THE ENGINE PISTONS

Z-Eta-65-test6: ???

Hans would hold this ‘thing’
Hans: I DON’T WANT IT ANYMORE
He’d splatter it on the robot’s chest

*holds the tiger shark and looks at Hans with a death glare*

Hans would then attend to his luger, trying to properly fix it

*one of the shards impale his shoulder pinning him to the tank*

Hans: DAMN IT, IVAN HELP!
Ivan would eat from a bag of crumbled-up chips

*it goes deeper increasing the hole size due ti the fact the shard goes frim narrow to wide

Ivan would finish the bag of chips, and shout at the robot to stop, while sipping from a juicebox.

*a shard goes to Ivan's neck while she covers the tiger shark's eyes*

Ivan: Oh actually
He’d sip from a juicebox, again
We’re sort of, animated?

Z-Eta-65-test6: i don't care... i can still kill you

Ivan would become splattered on the ground, before jumping up like a string and landing
Ivan: Like that.

Z-Eta-65-test6: ha!

Ivan: Funny, I know.
Hans: YOU F**KING IDIOT I’M DYING HERE

*the 4 shards pins them to the tank*

Hans: Well, we’ll die together.
Ivan: One last f**k you?
Hans: yeah, f**k you too.

*walks away*

Hans: Wait, are you not going to kill us?
Ivan would rip his uniform apart trying to get un-stuck from the shards

*2 of the shards would get out and slice their head clean off*

Hans: AH, IVAN MY HEAD IS GONE
Ivan: Similiarly.
Their heads would bounce around like basketballs

*their heads get crushed*

Two muffles scream would sound from under the shards

*the shard return behind her all bloody and then she teleports away*

Their heads would be flat, with their tongues sticking out and classic X eyes.

Their heads would pop-up from the ground again, and jump back on their bodies
Hans: AH
Ivan: The blyat just happened.
Hans: Well, uh, the capitalist robot didn’t pay for the shark thing.
Ivan: F**K WHAT

They’d get up, and Hans would break open a random glass panel in the middle of nowhere
Hans: We’re gonna make that f**ker pay.
Ivan: Literally.
They’d both jump in and appear behind the robot

Z-Eta-65-test6: what the f**k now?

Ivan: You didn’t pay-
He’d fall asleep, Ivan would catch him

(?)
Z-Eta-65-test6: and?

Ivan: Uh, can we have that shark back?
Hans would act almost drunk
Hans: Y-yeah, it-
He’d fall asleep again
Ivan: Hans, why did you overdose of scho-ko-late again?

Z-Eta-65-test6: no

Hans would get up and walk in a zig-zag pattern, with Ivan trying to guide him
Hans would also hold an empty bottle of
‘Iron Cross’ finest’ in his hand

Z-Eta-65-test6: oh boy

Ivan: Sorry for his behaviour, he likes to get..drunk a lot.
Ivan: Still, what are you planning to do with that latex pup?

Z-Eta-65-test6: keep him as a companion

Ivan: Do you realize how many times it could’ve infected us.
Hans would be deep asleep, laying on the ground

Z-Eta-65-test6: infected you how?

Ivan would take an annoyingly long and loud sip from a juicebox
Ivan: The goo.

Z-Eta-65-test6: what goo?

He’d try to touch the tiger shark

*she lets him*

A small lump of goo would be on his finger
Ivan: This one.

Z-Eta-65-test6: and how does that infect you? like venom or something?

The goo would quickly spread to his wrist
Hans would wake up
Hans: IVAN WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU DOING
He’d slap the goo off, via the magic power of slapstick comedy

Z-Eta-65-test6: ah... well that shouldn't di anyrhing to me

Hans: Still, can you pay us?
Ivan: 2 rations, a bag of chips and a juicebox.

Z-Eta-65-test6: uh... no

Hans: Shit.
Ivan: Alright, also, our tank’s f**ked, and that’s not ‘easy’ to repair
Hans: Ivan the USSR has a f**king country-worth of those things

Z-Eta-65-test6: continent worth

Ivan: N-no, that’s not true.
He’d act emberassed for some reason

Z-Eta-65-test6: there totally is!

Ivan: WE DON’T STACK TANKS BECAUSE THEY’RE BAD!
Hans would sip from a beer bottle

Z-Eta-65-test6: but you have enought fir the entire continent of eroupe

Hans: Ignore him, he takes in information in his own way.

Z-Eta-65-test6: ok

Ivan: Oh well.
He’d suddenly grab the tiger shark while the robot is off guard
Hans: YOU DID THAT TOO EARLY
They’d both jump into a broken glass panel, and dissapear

she was holding a fake and the real one was at her feet*

They’d notice that the one they stole was fake
Hans: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Ivan: BLYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Their screams could be hear through the portal

*sighs and picks uo the real one*

Meanwhile
Hans would drink a beer

*walking away*