And what pisses me off the most is my mom dyes and straightens her hair more then anyone else i've ever met

Alright, it sounds like you need to have a talk with your mom. Tell her it’s not a phase, and that you are non-binary and she’s just going to have to live with it, tell her that you reject the female hormones you have and with you had complete hormonal balance again. She probably won’t listen to all of this, so you need to make her listen. Tell her to stop treating you like your her toy, and don’t filter out stuff due to anxiousness, if she can’t handle it, you may not be able to convince her, so you don’t want to come out and say you hate her or anything. You’ve got to have a very calm approach otherwise she’ll just think it’s hormones or emotions, people seem to blame these things for everything so try to keep your emotions under control. Odds are this won’t work, and will just get you in trouble, which is where part 3 comes in, when she tells you you’re grounded for being ungrateful of what she’s given you, you should tell her that you’re well aware of what she’s given you and she has it all wrong, it’s not an act of wanting more, but an act of getting what you need. She will probably say something like “here’s the thing though, what you need will continue to grow, and keep growing until you think you need a million dollars, so if I don’t give you this, you will thank me later”, to which you respond no I won’t, if I can’t choose how to present myself it’s going to make me feel miserable later because when I move out I’m doing it anyway, and when I do people won’t recognize me when it’s important, if I do it now, sure people wont recognize me, but at least that phase gets over now instead of later. By this point, she’s likely going to be worn down quite a bit from the good points you’re making, but don’t think you’re out of the woods yet, she’s going to be really mad at you for a few days, maybe even weeks or months, she may not even listen, and if she doesn’t you should tell her things that you feel and convince her that children should not be treated as a peasant would be by a tyrannical king. The most important thing here is to watch your emotions and make sure you stay calm

Sorry for the long answer, I was writing this while calculating responses so it could’ve been shorter, but I decided on a quicker response

Damn, You need to have a serious talk with her

Or you could ask to dye it professionally, so it would be done properly and has less chance of damaging it. Or you could try dying it a natural colour, or just the ends or smthng

Cut it for charity?

wdym

You can do this thing, where u cut off a certain amount of your hair and then give it to charity where they can make it into wigs for people with cancer or something