Who starts conversation like that

VOILÀ! IN VIEW, A HUMBLE VAUDEVILLIAN VETERAN, CAST VICARIOUSLY AS BOTH VICTIM AND VILLAIN BY THE VICISSITUDES OF FATE. THIS VISAGE, NO MERE VENEER OF VANITY, IS A VESTIGE OF THE VOX POPULI NOW VACANT, VANISHED. HOWEVER, THIS VALOROUS VISITATION OF A BY-GONE VEXATION STANDS VIVIFIED AND HAS VOWED TO VANQUISH THESE VENAL AND VIRULENT VERMIN VAN-GUARDING VICE AND VOUCHSAFING THE VIOLENTLY VICIOUS AND VORACIOUS VIOLATION OF VOLITION. THE ONLY VERDICT IS VENGEANCE—A VENDETTA