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Questions that I always get asked (part 1): Would you want to change your name? If so why would you and what would you change it?- I would love to change my name because I hate it. There is a sequence in my family when it comes to names. My mom’s name is Izarel, my name is Izabella, and my brother’s name is Izaak. She wanted to claim us as her own. All I see is my mom’s name in my name. I despise my mother. She has caused many problems in the family relationship. Well, at least for me. The trust between the both of us has been and still is broken. The first three letters of my name mean war. It means hate. It means yelling back and forth over small things. It means agony. It means no matter how hard you try, you can’t avoid the ones you “love.” When I look at my name I see all of that anger and sadness she holds on to. I see the hypocrite she is. The side where she tells me to let the past go, but she can’t even do that herself. The side where she tells me to get over it when she’s the one who can’t stop crying about her dead grandma. I lost her too, and look at me, I already let it go. If I were to change my name to Toko Akuma. Toko (常) is Japanese for everlasting and Akuma (悪魔) is Japanese for the devil. Together it means Always The Devil. I chose Toko Akuma because people always see me as a bad person who won’t change their ways, no matter how much help they get. It’s true… I won’t change. Sure, I do change for the time I receive the help I need (but didn’t want), so it looks like I want to make a better life for my family, so they can leave me alone. Once I’m set free I go back to my bad habits. What’s even funnier is that I said I didn’t want the help to begin with for that same exact reason. “But what do I know,” they said. “Stop being so negative,” they said. “ I’ll get better,” they said. “She’s improving,” they said. Then... BAM. Oh, would you look at that… I’m back to my old ways. What did I tell you? Then I’m the one to blame for not putting in my part when I said it wasn’t going to work and that it was a waste of time and energy. I just get dragged deeper into despair. I chose a name that describes me. I chose to write it in Japanese because I am obsessed with the culture. It sounds really nice. Most people won’t know what it means right away. It’s original. It’s unique. It’s easy to remember. It’s short. It's easy to pronounce. It has an interesting story of its origin. Just what a name should have. | image tagged in the-goth-chicken's announcement template 32 | made w/ Imgflip meme maker
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Questions that I always get asked (part 1): Would you want to change your name? If so why would you and what would you change it?- I would love to change my name because I hate it. There is a sequence in my family when it comes to names. My mom’s name is Izarel, my name is Izabella, and my brother’s name is Izaak. She wanted to claim us as her own. All I see is my mom’s name in my name. I despise my mother. She has caused many problems in the family relationship. Well, at least for me. The trust between the both of us has been and still is broken. The first three letters of my name mean war. It means hate. It means yelling back and forth over small things. It means agony. It means no matter how hard you try, you can’t avoid the ones you “love.” When I look at my name I see all of that anger and sadness she holds on to. I see the hypocrite she is. The side where she tells me to let the past go, but she can’t even do that herself. The side where she tells me to get over it when she’s the one who can’t stop crying about her dead grandma. I lost her too, and look at me, I already let it go. If I were to change my name to Toko Akuma. Toko (常) is Japanese for everlasting and Akuma (悪魔) is Japanese for the devil. Together it means Always The Devil. I chose Toko Akuma because people always see me as a bad person who won’t change their ways, no matter how much help they get. It’s true… I won’t change. Sure, I do change for the time I receive the help I need (but didn’t want), so it looks like I want to make a better life for my family, so they can leave me alone. Once I’m set free I go back to my bad habits. What’s even funnier is that I said I didn’t want the help to begin with for that same exact reason. “But what do I know,” they said. “Stop being so negative,” they said. “ I’ll get better,” they said. “She’s improving,” they said. Then... BAM. Oh, would you look at that… I’m back to my old ways. What did I tell you? Then I’m the one to blame for not putting in my part when I said it wasn’t going to work and that it was a waste of time and energy. I just get dragged deeper into despair. I chose a name that describes me. I chose to write it in Japanese because I am obsessed with the culture. It sounds really nice. Most people won’t know what it means right away. It’s original. It’s unique. It’s easy to remember. It’s short. It's easy to pronounce. It has an interesting story of its origin. Just what a name should have.