I understand
Maybe it's best to try and see people's real intentions. (Giving advice I can't even take myself.)
But also, since you're here. I have a little "exercise" for you. Take a moment and go on a walk outside if you can. Maybe get a notepad or something, and note down some things that you see or hear. (Whether it's peaceful or not.) Or maybe draw something, or just lay down and try to relax for a few minutes.