I GOT INTO OFFICE WITH THE HELP OF PERFECT RUSSIANS AND PERFECTLY GULLIBLE VOTERS. I BUILT 80 MILES OF PERFECT WALL WITH NO MONEY FROM THE MEXICANS; I MADE PERFECT EXTORTION PHONE CALLS. I WAS PERFECTLY IMPEACHED TWICE. I GOT PERFECTLY WHIPPED BY 7 MILLION VOTES IN A PERFECT ELECTION. I INCITED A PERFECT INSURRECTION. AND IN 10 DAYS I'LL BE REINSTATED AS PRESIDENT WITH THE HELP OF A GUY WHO MAKES PERFECTLY AWFUL PILLOWS.
