I'm always here to listen!

Bîh I have a dang stand since when did you get this authority

I like helping people, i gave myself the authority-

If you're head what am I? A background therapist? I literally came back only to give people therapy-

Hmm, maybe we can both be head?

*nods* works for me

Great!

it's a lot to unpack tho......

I'm always willing to listen, no matter who much there is to unpack

*how

LMAO BET
brb

Oki

I'm sorry for forgetting the date. I just have a lot of things on my plate. I had lost my fate, due to the fact I get a lot of hate. When I'm acting nice from the heart, I only get torn apart. They all say that I'm acting fake and then I'm over here crying in a lake. I've been stabbed in the back, I'm never in tack. I can't make up for the things I lack. No matter how hard I try, I can never seem to get by. I feel like my life is just a lie. My life is hard for me to complete, so I sit here in defeat, thinking how i am going to compete. I am currently going through a phase, where everything is a blurry haze. I am not the same person i was back in the days. I have changed in many different ways. The cheerful girl you saw way back when you may or may not see her again. Within the time of this quarantine, i have lost all of my self-esteem. I tend to feel a lot of pain, i have lost more than i gain. I feel so alone when i'm on my own. Although the pain is hardly shown, i am not okay, i’ve always known. Sure i got my parents who love me, but they do not understand what i want to be. i have tried, lied, sighed, and cried, only because i hate being criticized. I have to find ways to hide the pain, so i wouldn't have to explain. Anything i do and say only pushes people away. I tend to yell for some help, on how to get through this living hell. but no matter what i shrug it off and say "Oh well... Nothing can get me out of this cell." Every little step that i take is another mistake to the people that i know, love, and care about. I always have to live in doubt. My fear leads to more anxiety, followed by a judgmental society. Everything around me is an illusion, and there is no conclusion, to all the chaos and confusion, i just have to loosen up. People at first say, "Sup, i would like your friend, yup." Later on we have a bond that's strong, i always think "what could possibly go wrong?" But that is where the chaos starts to unfold, i had believed the lies that they told. They also have to put me on hold, no wonder my soul is so damn cold. I never bought the shit they sold, they gave it out for free and pretend to be nice. Sugar, spice, and all that nice, that wasn't them. they did it so they wouldn't pay the price of my mistakes. I am always the one who was put at the steak. For f**ks sake, i am the one who had to feel the aching pain, that has never gone away. Everyday i wake up saying, "Everything is going to be ok!" but i'm lying, dying, crying ok.

I can't take it anymore, it's too hardcore, I'm lying on the floor as my eyes begin to pour. Guess thre's a reason there's blood on the floor. I drown in my sorrow as if there was no tomorrow. everybody that I know just begins to beg, steal, barter, and borrow. I've been used and abused. I'm sweating and confused about how I got here. What the f**k happened to all my cheer. Inside it's empty, i have no entry to the gate of happiness. I have been living in the pits of crappiness. People say to look in a different direction, but that way is not my objection. I am pretty immature, unsure what the meaning of life is. Everyday i feel like i am in a crisis. People say that I need to try out something different. I feel like that everything they're doing to help is insignificant. I'm missing those times when things were simple. Now the lake that i cried beings to ripple and i slowly start to cripple in my depression session that has gone for more than a year. There are times where i show all the fear that draws near the surrounding atmosphere. I will always shed a tear, my eyes will never clear. But hear me out, listen to me pout. I love living in all this doubt. I'll never stop pursuing what I love doing. It's everything I can do at the moment, even if it means i have to live in disappointment. Every therapy appointment doesn't feel like much. But i'll give a shot, i'll throw that left punch. It may feel weak, but let me speak, i will soon be able to reach that peak. I'll keep in fighting making sure I rise above, fly high like a dove. I might need a little shove, but make sure you do it with love. Sometimes I feel like it goes off the wall, but i'll give it my all. I'll continue to fall. and maybe one day I will walk through that hall and go beyond, plus ultra. Sure i may be an extra, as Bakugo would say, but know i will strive and (try to) stay alive .