Mario: It's raining...
Luigi: Yeah! Yeah it is.
Luigi: So, are you gonna leave dude? Because it's 2AM, and everybody else has gone home, so--
Mario: The pizza is going to be cold.
Luigi: I- I- I'm sorry, pizza?
Mario: Guaranteed 30 minutes, or it's free.
Luigi: Are you trying to tell me something?
Mario: That's a guaranteed 30 years in therapy when I bite down into a cold slice of fresh pizza.
Luigi: Is this because I wouldn't play Twister with you?
Mario: It's been 31 minutes. That's disappointment. That's cold pizza.
(Mario grabs the pizza box, which has now arrived.)
Mario: Go ahead. Open it.
(Luigi reaches for the pizza box.
Mario: No. I'll open it for you.
(Mario opens the box.)
Luigi: Wow! Uhhh, anchovies. That's a... That's a trope.
Mario: Look again.
Mario: Anchovies AND pineapple.
Mario: Everything I touch turns to waste. Everything I waste gets recycled.
(Mario pulls out a gun.)
Mario: Get in the car, Luigi.
Luigi: Woah, woah, hey, hey, hey, hey, what are you doing, put the gun--
Mario: THE CAR, LUIGI. GET IN THE CAR.
(In the car now)
Luigi: Oh man, I... Hate this song- Lemme just... Turn it off...
(Luigi turns off the radio.)
Mario: ... You like the Bee Gees, Luigi?
Luigi: Um, not particula--
Mario: Name one of their albums. Go ahead.
Luigi: I can't really...
Mario: Any one of them.
Mario: Parallel parking. Y'know how to parallel park?
Luigi: No, I--
Mario: Exactly. It's a myth, created by the CIA to trick us into chasing the elusive dream of attempting to perfect symmetry. We can't play God, Luigi. God is the meter maid. AND YOUR TIME IS UP.
Luigi: I'm- I'm sorry, where are we going again?
Mario: Oh, we're here.
(Now in a far-off forest)
Luigi: So- I mean, wha- what exactly are we doing here-
Mario: Feeling limber, Luigi?
(A Twister board shows up)
Luigi: Really man, really? You brought me all the way out here, in the middle of the night, to play Twister?
Mario: Go ahead, Luigi. Spin the dial.
Luigi: No. I won't spin the dial.
Mario: Spin. The. Dial.
Luigi: Okay, okay, fine-
(Luigi spins the dial.)
Luigi: Left foot to red. Are you happy?
Mario: Look again.
(The area the dial landed in is now labeled "WE'RE NOT BROTHERS ANYMORE.")
(Luigi starts crying.)
Mario: That's what I thought.
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