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HEAVY: YA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA- IT IS GOOD DAY TO BE NOT DEAD! ENGINEER: POW! YOU ARE DEAD! HEAVY: I AM DEAD! ENGINEER: CHUCKLING, WHILE SPY IS DOING THE CONGA TOWARDS THE SCENE (THE ENGINEER SAYS AW, SHUCKS” AS THE SPY GETS CLOSE.) SPY: OH! THE HEAVY IS DEAD! HEAVY: YES (SANDWICH). I AM DEAD! SPY: WHY IS THE HEAVY DEAD?! ENGINEER: I DUNNO. HEAVY: I THINK IT WAS- ENGINEER & SPY: SHHH, YOU ARE DEAD! HEAVY: OK. (SNIPER ENTERS SCENE EXITING VAN) SNIPER: WHAT'S UP, YOU WANKERS?! WHO’S UP FOR A- AH! WHAT THE- BLOODY HELL JUST HAPPENED?! ENGINEER & SPY: THE HEAVY IS DEAD! (A, B, C, OR D GAME STARTS) SNIPER: THE HEAVY IS DEAD! SPY: CORRECT! (OPTION C LIGHTS UP AND CELEBRATION MUSIC STARTS PLAYING) SPY: SO, DID YOU SEE THE MURDERER? ENGINEER AND SNIPER: NAH, SORRY MATE. SPY: SLAMS HAND ON DESK I WILL FIND HIM, I WILL CAPTURE HIM, AND NO ONE WILL EVER DIE AGAIN! (ENGINEER AND SNIPER APPLAUSE) SNIPER: AH, WELL THAT'S NICE. ENGINEER: I AM DAMN PROUD RIGHT NOW. (SOLDIER APPEARS IN SCENE) SOLDIER: ATTEEEEEEEEENTION! (SOLDIER RUSHES TO DEAD HEAVY) SOLDIER: THAT HEAVY IS DEAD! SPY: WE KNOW! SOLDIER: WHO KILLED HIM?! SPY: WE DON’T KNOW! SOLDIER: I WILL FIND CLUES! (SOLDIER SEARCHES THROUGH PILE OF STUFF WHILE SNIFFING) SOLDIER: WHAT'S THAT? GRABS GUN A WEAPON?! THAT THING IS WHY THE HEAVY IS DEAD! ENGINEER, SNIPER, AND SPY: THE HEAVY IS DEAD?! SOLDIER: SLAMS HANDS ON DESK YES, (INTENSE BACKGROUND APPEARS) HE DIED! ENGINEER, SNIPER, AND SPY: ALL SHOCKED (INTENSE BACKGROUND STOPS, SHOWING THE ENGINEER, SNIPER, AND SPY STANDING IN FRONT OF A GREEN SCREEN) MEDIC: (FROM FAR AWAY) INCOMING! (AMBULANCE CRASHES SOLDIER INTO A BUILDING WALL, KILLING HIM.) MEDIC: EXITS OUT OF AMBULANCE RAUS, RAUS! PUSHES ENGINEER, SNIPER, AND SPY AWAY FROM HEAVY MOVE NOW! KISSES HEAVY ON HEAD (HEAVENLY MUSIC SOUNDS WHILE THE LIGHT FOCUSES ON HEAVY) HEAVY: (RISING IN AIR) HOHOHO, HEA- EXPLODES OOF. MEDIC: IN MY MEDICAL OPINION, THAT HEAVY IS DEAD! (CAMERA ROTATES TO SNIPER) SNIPER: DOC, WHAT HAPPENED? MEDIC: MY PROFESSIONAL OPINION? SLAMS HANDS ON DESK THEN TURNS TO THE RIGHT (INTENSE BACKGROUND COMES IN) THE HEAVY WAS KILLED! (INTENSE BACKGROUND STOPS) ENGINEER, SNIPER, AND SPY: PANICKING MEDIC: I DON’T THINK IT’S ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. SPY: WELL, NOW WHAT? (SCOUT ENTERING WHILE DOING THE CONGA IN THE BACKGROUND) SCOUT: CLIPIDY CLOP MOTHER****ER! BOOM! SPY: SAYS “OH, COME ON.” BEFORE SCOUT SAYS BOOM SCOUT: LOOK AT THIS! THE FREAKING HEAVY IS DEAD! PAUSE WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT? PAUSE AHM… SPY: YES, YES, SCOUT. SCOUT: YEA? SPY: GO HOME! (SCOUT’S MOTHER APPEARS IN A CAR TELLING SCOUT TO GET IN) SCOUT: AH COME ON! PFFFF! FREAKING UNBELIEVABLE SERIOUSLY, YOU ALL SUCK. (CAR DRIVES OFF AND CRASHING NOISE IS HEARD) SCOUT: SCREAMS OF PAIN SPY: OK, LET’S GET BACK TO THE POINT. HEAVY: POKING AT HIS DEAD BODY I THINK HEAVY IS DEAD. ENGINEER, SNIPER, SPY, AND MEDIC: THE HEAVY IS DEAD?! MEDIC: TURNS AROUND AND NOTICES DEAD SCOUT IN BURNING CAR SCOUT! I WILL HEAL YOU- CAR EXPLODES AND CAMERA GOES BACK TO HEAVY HEAVY: OH, SERIOUSLY?! WHO KILLED HEAVY?! (CAMERA SHOWS ON DEMOMAN DRINKING SCRUMPY) DEMOMAN: SLURP SLURP IT WAS ME! ENGINEER, SNIPER, SPY, AND HEAVY: SHOCKED DEMOMAN: YES! BOTTLE OF SCRUMPY SLIDES UP DEMOMAN’S BODY AND DEMOMAN EATS THE BOTTLE I DID IT LIKE THIS: TAKES OUT A REVOLVER AND SHOOTS SNIPER IN CHEST BOOM! DEMOMAN FLIES OFF FROM FORCE OF REVOLVER BLAST SNIPER: SCREAMS OF PAIN DEMOMAN: WOOP DEE DOO! ENGINEER, SPY, AND HEAVY: ARE TERRIFIED SEEING SNIPER’S DEAD BODY DEMOMAN: BURPS THAT’S A JOKE, LADS. ENGINEER, SPY, AND HEAVY: STARTS LAUGHING LIKE CRAZY DEMOMAN: SLURP SLURP BURP IT WAS… YO-... BURP POINTS AT ENGINEER HIM! ENGINEER: SHOCKED HOW DID YOU KNOW?! DEMOMAN: I DIDN’T. BURPS THAT WAS A JOKE TOO. (CAMERA MOVES TO ENGINEER, AS THE DEMOMAN KEEPS DRINKING FASTER) DEMOMAN: FALLS ON GROUND OH, I’M DEAD. ENGINEER: MANIC LAUGHTER THAT’S RIGHT! IT WAS ME! SPY: YOU MONSTER! HEAVY: BUT WHYYYYY? ENGINEER: CAUSE YOU’RE FAT, BOY. AND ANOTHER THING, YOU’RE UGLY. HEAVY: ENGINEER, STOP! ENGINEER AND HEAVY: ARGUING SPY: SHRUGS (TEXT APPEARS SAYING : IT’S TRADITION) ENGINEER: AH DAMMIT HEAVY **** OFF! YOU ARE DEAD. HEAVY: NO U, POW! HAHA. (ENGINEER FALLS DEAD ON FLOOR) HEAVY: YOU ARE DEAD! NOT BIG SURPRISE. SPY: WELL THAT WAS IDIOTIC. OFF TO HANG MYSELF! SPY DOING FLIP ON NOOSE WATCH AND LEA- CHOKING NOISES HEAVY: I AM ALIVE! IS NICE. YES, THIS IS STUPID.