I really feel this

Say you're there when I feel helpless If that's true, why don't you help me? It's my fault, I know I'm selfish Stand alone, my soul is jealous It wants love, but I reject it Trade my joy for my protection Grab my hand, I'm drowning I feel my heart pounding Why haven't you found me yet? I hold you so proudly Traumas, they surround me I wish you'd just love me back