2. i am a very negative person. due to the fact that i am never heard. and when i am, it's for the wrong reasons. i've been criticized my whole life. i don't know what '' happiness", "peace", or "love" is. Why. i was never given that. i would be the one giving all of that, only to be stabbed in the back. and with the bible, that's all it is. positivity .(gross) when i try to act nice from the heart, i would be told that i was being fake. so i just stopped being positive because no matter what, nice or not, i was hated everywhere i go. in the present when people force me to be "kind", i feel like a hypocrite. when i am around people who are positive, i feel like a hypocrite. and some of you Christians (who are mostly positive and caring) all i see is more depression heading my way.
i never get to be my true self that much, due to the fact that i have a bitch ass mom who verbally abuses me. and when i do it around others it pushes others away.
