idk

(Carlos} *stretches neck* Your lookin kinda sus

yeah well were all sus now go away

(Carlos} No
*whispers* make the call bob

whats that supposed to meean

(Carlos} the police are on their way *holds the van still and grabs you with shoulder crab arms*

well [redacted] time to go *wrenches from grasp and drives away* we still have a car chase to deal with, get the chaingun jack *slams the accelerator*

(Carlos} *grabs the van with throat hands* I dont think so

WHAT THE HELL HES HANGING ON * opens portal and jumps in with jack and it closes* adios amigo!
jack: where are we?
hell.

(Carlos} *comes in through the ceiling* Nope *drags them back up and the police have arrived* Yep, these 2, officer

wait wait that doesn't make sense theres no ceiling in hell

(Officer} Alright, you two are comin with me.

how did the cop get in hell read the comment above this

(Carlos} Dragged you out
(also idk that there was no ceiling}

*grabs jack and disappears somewhere 100 meters away*

*calls for extraction and flies away in helicopter*

Elite: Hey a ice cream truck *Runs at it*

hermes: ._. lock the windows jack

*Knocks on doors that makes table slam sounds*

*crawls into back of van* theres to much moolah in the safe we cant compromise just act like no one is there

Elite: Hmmm Maybe this isn't the door *Goes to the back*

._. *pulls out popsicle* okay ill give this to this person

*Knocks on back door*

*deep breath* okay, im an ice cream giver, doesn't matter that im wearing a suit or have 2 guns. *opens window* uhhhhhhhhhhh want some erm uh ice cream

Elite: Give me da Cold Icing Freeze Cream that's been left in Antarctica :)

ok here *gives* now go and leave us alone please

Elite: *Licks Ice cream* I NEED MORE *Goes in the window*

ah sh- *locks the window*

*Hangs on in the back of the door*

okay this kid really wants ice cream uhh *opens window again* w- what flavor?

Elite: Hmmmmm....... *Thinks slow*

Jacob: s u s

._. *locks all doors*

Jacob: very s u s

*hides* nopenopenopenope

Jacob: * plants c4 on van * Bomb had been planted

i sense bom.
time to leave, *opens portal*

Jacob: * teleports to the entrance of portal * no

ookay then.... what can we help you with

Jacob: What are ya doin here?

were your friendly neighborhood robbers! *suspiciously* ...what brings you here?

Jacob: To stop you

*snickers* he says to stop you *jack wheezes*

Jacob: * Shoots both in the arms *

*our arms heal* i said, lets handle this like civilized people! were not armed okay?

Jacob: Fine * Teleports both to hell * Have fun * Leaves *

but...... i said to handle this civilly..... *satan comes out* cousins! what brings you here?
jack: uh.. just teleported here, can we hitch a ride?
satan: sure... you got money?
*hands the money*
satan: good. *snaps fingers and jack and me tp back to the base*

jack jack jack we have a crowed L O O K I N G at us

Jake:*pulls out pistols and sighs* Can't catch a break.

*pushes jack* he has a tiny gun *we both crack up in laughter* okkay uh *opens window* hi sir what is it

Jake:*he pulls out a butterfly knife* I shouldn't even waste bullet on you.

uh... *tosses gun into back of van and climbs out with jack* lets handle this like civilized people shall we?

Jake:Listen, I know you will rob bank.

want to help?

Jake: I fight terrorist organization that has taken over the world, what do you think is answer?

no, but are you sure? were gonna keep the cameras on and then were gonna do the spooky dance in the safe

Jake: Yes, and how do you want to die? By knife? Or by gun?

*grabs jack and we disappear *

why cant we just rob in peace 😢

Jake:Hm?

oh well, next time.

Jake:*Jake had put a tracking device without their knowledge, and he began walking towards the signal.*

*looks at suit* HOLY [redacted] ITS A TRACKER *destroys it* why wont this kid drop it! we gave up... okay say mabye we get some operatives with big guns and help him against that terrorist group. then he'll leave us alone.

Jake:*he lost the signal.* Hopefully that was long enough. Might as well keep going in the direction.

*sees jake* oi oi oi can you tell us more about that terrorist organization

Jake: I single-handedly save city from terrorists. I can handle them by myself.

tell us

Jake: I use ancient magic using soul of omega found in prison camp.

...uhuh. what is this terrorist organization and what do they want

Jake: To control the planet.

well that cant happen, *snaps fingers and agents come out of shadows holding rifles* if they do that, we cant rob anymore! gimme a location.

Jake: Reality 2847-3.

oh okay *walks to vessel called: the traveler* seeya

Jake:You know how to travel realities?

oooo so they do use magic good we can get the foundation involved, they have a helluva lot of firepower. *makes call* hello? this is o5-6. I want a elite squad dispatched at halycon dock 6. *person on phone: of course sir.*
okay now were good?

Jake: As long as you don't kill anyone. I shall escort your men through the city, and make sure they don't die.

okay *climbs into scp van* lets go boys and girls *the van zooms away*

well it is still in beta

Jake: Please, your operatives are no match for them.

what kind of weapons do the have? do they have anomalous powers?

Jake: No, but they have the most futuristic tech I've ever seen.

uh, anything paranormal at all?

Jake: Elite soldiers use same ancient magic as me.