🚨🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨🚨
SOMEONE HAS OUT PIZZA’D THE HUT
IT HAS BEEN CONFIRMED THAT A MAN IN OREGON HAS OFFICIALLY OUT PIZZA’D THE HUT. THIS OCCURRED LATE LAST NIGHT, AND THE RESPONSES WERE FELT THIS MORNING. THE CEO HAS IMMEDIATELY STEPPED DOWN IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO TAKE WHAT HE HAS LEFT OF THE COMPANY. THEIR STOCK DROPPED 34.2 POINTS OVERNIGHT. ALL STORES ARE NOW SHUTTING DOWN, AND BEING TORN APART AS WE SPEAK. NOBODY IN THE COMPANY HAS RESPONDED OR AGREED TO SPEAK WITH US ON THE MATTER. AMERICA IS CURRENTLY HEADING TOWARDS ANARCHY, AS THE OTHER LEADING PIZZA BRANDS WERE STORMED AND RIOTED, FORCING THEM TO SHUT DOWN TEMPORARILY. IT IS NOT KNOWN WHEN STORES WILL OPEN AGAIN. POLICE AND MILITARY HAVE BEEN SENT INTO CITIES TO CONTROL THE FLOW OF PEOPLE STORMING LOCAL PIZZA STORES AND SUPERMARKETS IN AN ATTEMPT TO FIND ANOTHER WAY TO GET ANY SORT OF PIZZA. A CULT HAS BEEN FORMED AROUND THE MAN WHO HAS OUT PIZZA’D THE HUT, AND HE REWARDS THEIR WORSHIP WITH THE ONLY REMAINING PIZZAS IN THE WORLD. STAY SAFE OUT THERE.
