etretretre

You’re so old Queen Elizabeth II got jealous.

well at least ill be older than you'll ever be(I'm bad at comebacks i guess)

You can’t just predict my future like some idiot saying that tomorrow is the next day.

nice roast!

You look like a rat, and your so fat, I would be so sad, if I looked like that and please support me my EX trust worthy friend that is no longer trust worthy told my crush I had a crush on him I have to go to school again tomorrow so please support me

you're so stupid that even cane frogs are considered "Einstien level" compared to you(i may look like a rat but I at least I'm not as idiotic as you)

Your so ugly your biological mom gave you away from the start and your parents now had to be brain washed 59 times to have them think your their kid and treat you the way you were supposed to be treated as a kid "

"you're" so stupid that you thought I was adopted

WHAT AVOT MY CRUAH SITUATION

HOW TF SHOULD I KNOW IM NOT A THERAPIST

I said you will get upvotes please..I'll do ANYTHING.

WHAT ABOT MY CRUSH SITUATION

What about my crush situation right now???

dunno im not a therapist of some kind

Please advise...
I will upvote ten of your memes

dunno get some flowers or smthn

Humm ok ty

can i post this as a meme?

Sure cool

*boat noises*

hrmmm? that isnt a roast

nvm i hav one now

Set me up. Call me a geek or whatever

well, I'm glad I'm smarter than you ever could be

I bet they accept your spit at the sperm bank.

ahem spit does not contain any sort of DNA or genes so even if they did accept it would be useless

I guess that joke went right over your head. Let me simplify it for your cognitively challenged brain. You suck so much coc* that your spit is accepted at sperm banks....

hmmm interesting seems like I need too study comebacks and jokes in roasts here's an upvote for now

And for the record, spit does contain DNA. That's how the majority of willing DNA samples are obtained...cotton swab to the inner cheek...might wanna research that as well. But cheers to you!

your so fat that you lost 100 pounds opening your computer

ahem it virtually impossible to lose any weight when opening a computer therefore you are wrong and an absolute idiot

i mean, you burn calories while you move. so it's possible to lose weight opening a computer but it would be an extremely small amount.

When your mom stepped on a scale, it gave her my phone number

i dont have a scale if i did it would have broke so good luck finding your phone number

maybe his phone number's 911