Oh no 😭😭 I'm so sorry! I have been there. (Well not physically with any lethal things but mentally with really really wanting to kms) I'm glad you didn't. I'm glad you have family and friends who care about you and you know they would be sad and miss you. I'm really sorry you're feeling so hopeless and depressed, though... it's so hard to keep going sometimes. I would definitely suggest reaching out to someone you really trust and telling them how you're feeling. When I told my parents about my... ehrm... *issues*, yeah they were really scared and sad for me, but they were also really happy I told them. The people who care about you want to know if you're struggling so they can help you. And your parents or whoever (hopefully an adult...) can try to get you to a therapist or maybe a doctor for medication. (And hey if you don't feel comfortable verbally talking to someone, I personally ended up writing a letter cuz it was easier for me to let them know that way. Just whatever you can do to communicate!)
Above all, remember that things can and will get better. (I know it's hard to believe that but something good actually just happened for me that I would NEVER have expected, that I didn't think could EVER happen, so even if you don't think life can get better it WILL.) You're loved and I'm so glad you're still here, and I hope you can eventually find a way to feel better.
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