My equivalent to what u just said:
me: *falls over and makes a high pitched sound in pain*
my mom: aww is the baby oki?
Me in my head: bish tf
Me in my class: *falls over and makes a high pitched sound in pain*
Boy in my class i hate: aww sexy weak?
Me: *gets up walks up to him and slaps him in the face* no im not bish. and im not sexy