Phillip: Have you ever had a dirty kitchen which overwhelms you with grubby countertops and dishes?
Jaxson: Yeah, oof
Phillip: Well, if you call now, you can get the amazing KITCHEN TORCH!!
Jaxson: What does it do?
Phillip: I’m glad you asked! After making dinner, you can burn down the dirty kitchen with the KITCHEN TORCH!! It will leave your kitchen clean, fresh, and sanitized!
Jaxson: Wait, how much does it cost?
Phillip: Normally, the KITCHEN TORCH cost $69.99, but if you call now, you can get the KITCHEN TORCH for only $49.89 with free shipping!
Jaxson: Cool! Can I use it for other dirty things?
Phillip: Yes! You can! You can use it in any room of your house! Including but not limited to, the living room, the bathroom, bedrooms, closets, pantries and more!
Jaxson: :D Wow!
Phillip: And for a limited time offer, you can get the larger FLAME EXTENSION PACK for only $4.20
Jaxson: Oh man! That’s amazing!
Phillip: -burns down kitchen- See? It’s amazing!
Jaxson: O-O
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