STEP 1: CUT A WEDGE OUT OF A HEAD OF ICEBERG LETTUCE. MAKING SURE TO GET AS MUCH OF THE HARD WHITE STUFF IN THE MIDDLE. STEP 2: SPRINKLE ON A 1/3 OF THE INGREDIENTS THAT YOU WOULD ACTUALLY NEED FOR THAT AMOUNT OF LETTUCE
RESULT: THE DUMBEST SHIT YOU CAN ORDER AT A RESTAURANT!