GENERAL KENOBI,
YEARS AGO YOU SERVED AMERICA IN THE GREAT RECESSION, NOW SHE BEGS YOU IN HER STRUGGLE AGAINST THE TRUMP CULT,
I REGRET THAT I AM UNABLE TO PRESENT AMERICA'S REQUEST IN PERSON, BUT THE CAPITOL HAS FALLEN UNDER SIEGE AND MY MISSION TO DELIVER THIS TO YOU HAS FAILED. I HAVE PLACED THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES INTO THE MEMORY SYSTEMS OF THIS R2 UNIT;
MY FATHER WILL KNOW HOW TO RETRIEVE IT. YOU MUST SEE THIS DROID SAFELY DELIVERED TO HIM IN WASHINGTON DC; THIS IS OUR MOST DESPERATE HOUR. HELP US; ... YOU'RE OUR ONLY HOPE. KENOBI
