I have had meltdowns every day for the past month its hard, ppl don't help they make it worse, but once you find that one person that gets everything it feels better, but that one person is gone..
But trust me it gets better over time it always has in one way or the other soon you won't even feel it you will feel fresh and free
Just don't let it consume you and attempt I did that and it doesn't help
Suicide doesn't delete your pain it passes it on to everyone who cares about you
And a lot of ppl care about you. You are loved
I hope you get better soon, if you ever need to talk I'm always here buddy